Category: Uncategorized

Confession 252: On Not Growing Tomatoes

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Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21

“Do you have a vision for yourself?” my health coach asked.  Well, that’s the key question, isn’t it?  It’s hard to go forward with something if you don’t have a vision of what you want to achieve.
“My best friend is a pioneer woman,” I said.  “They have chickens in their backyard, and 
grow vegetables and buy organic foods.  Her children have never eaten Pop Tarts and she makes homeade granola bars with flaxseed.”
“Do you want to make homeade granola bars with flaxseed?” my very astute health coach asked.
“Not really,” I replied.  “But, I feel like I should.”

We went on from there to talk about how women in our society feel this incredible 
pressure to be everything to everyone.  We need to be supermoms, and superwives, and have super careers.  The resulting stress and pressure from continuously trying to achieve something that no one can possibly achieve leaves us feeling like failures, reaching for food and other coping mechanisms to absorb the pain.
“Have you ever heard Joyce Meyer’s tomato story?” my health coach asked.
Apparently, Joyce Meyer wanted to be a superwife/mom too.  She started sewing her children’s clothes and making things from scratch.  She grew a huge tomato garden and prayed over it that it would yield a bountiful crop.  The day came for harvesting.  She and her pioneer woman next door neighbor were going to have a harvesting/canning party.  As Joyce went out to her garden to begin the harvesting process, she found that every single one of her beautiful red tomatoes had been blighted by worms.  Quickly, she ran into the house and called her neighbor to pass on the dreadful news.  Her neighbor quickly ran to her own garden to check the precious fruit.  Lo and behold, her tomatoes were bright, red, full and worm free.  She had the perfect crop.  Needless to say, Joyce had a few strong words for God about this crop she had so carefully planted and tended too.  But God had some strong words for Joyce as well.  That day, she clearly heard God say, “I never asked you to plant tomatoes.”
“You need to give yourself a break,” my health coach said.  “If God’s not calling you to make homeade granola bars, it’s okay.  You need to figure out what kind of life God is calling you to lead and do that.”
In that moment, I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders.  For now, the Pop Tarts are okay.  Moreover, I can be okay right where I am.  Right now, I am where God wants me to be.  There’s a purpose and a plan.  And, there’s a vision.  I know in my heart exactly what I want to do, who I want to be.  I’m not sure yet how to get there, but I don’t think I have to have that part figured out just yet.  I need to just be in the here and now. I need to rest and  be assured that God’s got the greater purpose and a plan already in motion.  And while I want a door to be thrown wide open right now, I know that I can’t do anything until God is ready for it to be done.  Because when I wait on God, big things can happen.  All I know for sure is that I’m not going to be growing any tomatoes!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 251: Discipline

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Enter through the narrow gate.  For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.  Matthew 7:13-15


It’s ironic that I would be writing a post on discipline since I haven’t blogged in almost a month!!  However, it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.  We live in a culture that glorifies excess.  As Americans, we overeat, overspend, overexert, overcommit, overindulge, overopinionate, (yes, I’m creating new words here), overstuff…you name it, we over it!!  Unfortunately, all of this overing tends to wreck havoc on our lives.  We find ourselves depressed, unfulfilled, stressed out, exhausted, broken, lost.

Recently, I found myself settling into a bit of a depression over my weight.  I am ashamed to say that I allowed myself to overindulge on food to the extent that my weight had risen to the number it was when I was 9 months pregnant.  I hated the way I looked, hated the way Ifelt.  It took me at least 20 minutes to get dressed each morning because I was too fat to fit into my clothes.  Something had to give.  Literally, my waist.  So, I have enrolled in a weight loss program.  I’ve been on the meal plan for a week.  It’s been grueling and I’ve been cranky and irritable and desperate for some nachos.  But when I stepped on the scale today, I was six pounds lighter!!  So, I’m totally going to stay on this straight and narrow path!

I think I understand, more and more, what Jesus was talking about when he talked about following the narrow road that leads to life.  When we discipline our lives, when we set parameters on ouselves rather than engaging in our culture’s over the top everything, we live with greater purpose.  When we focus ourselves in on something, it takes on more meaning.  We give it our best effort.  It becomes important to us.  And, moreover, when we engage in self discipline, whether it be to lose weight, save money, spend more time with our family, disengage from the t.v., or to draw closer to God, we find ourselves living a more fulfilling life.  We become achievers, rather than accumulators.

It’s not easy, though, to live a disciplined life.  Personally, it goes against almost every fiber of my being.  I like immediate gratification.  I don’t like giving things up, especially food.  It takes awhile to get into the groove.  There’s a reason God had the Israelites wandering around the desert for 40 years.  They were learning to be disciplined.  It can take a long time!  But look at the promise Jesus gives…..this road of discipline is a road that leads to life.

Please don’t think I’m telling  you that you have to stop eating, stop shopping, and stop reading anything but your Bible.  I think God intended for life to be enjoyed!!  I just think that discipline can be good for our souls, and our bodies, and that perhaps the narrow road is the better way to go.

As Robert Frost wrote of the choice between two roads….“And I, I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 250: Offering

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From what you have, take an offering for the Lord.  Everyone who is willing is to bring to the Lord an offering…
Exodus 35:5

Zooming through the book of Exodus this morning, working to catch up on my “B90X” (Bible in 90 Days) challenge, this verse brought me up short in both a figurative and literal sense.  God was in the process of directing the newly freed people of Israel to construct a dwelling place for him.  Obviously, the desert did not supply a great deal of building materials, so it was up to the people of Israel to furnish the supplies that would build and adorn this Most Holy of Holy places.  God could have said, “Everyone bring me a pound of gold, 5 pounds of silver and 25 yards of dyed silk.”  Or, “Every household must bring me a case of your finest Shiraz along with your sterling silver flatware and any jewels you might have squirrled away.”  God brought the Israelites out of Egypt and fed them for forty years from the storehouses of heaven.  Surely it would be within his right to demand elaborate gifts. 

And yet, God did no such thing.  Instead of demanding, God simply made an offer…if you are willing, then give to me from what you already have.  Notice he didn’t add, “It’s all mine, anyway,” at the end of that statement.  Although it is, and he could have pointed that out at any point in this dialog.  But God has never been interested in our compliance.  Rather, God is seeking a relationship with his people, a relationship built on love and devotion and trust. 

In verse 21 the author writes, “and everyone who was willing and whose heart moved them came and brought an offering to the Lord.”  We give to God because our hearts are moved by his love.  We give to God because our hearts are full of gratitude for the many things he has done for us.  We give to God because our hearts yearn to share his love with others.

And what, exactly, are we called to give?  We give from what we have.  The ancient Israelites left Egypt with everything needed to construct the Tabernacle of the Lord so that God might physically dwell with them.  God saw to it that they had plenty to give so that they might experience him.  Likewise, God equips us today with everything we need to share the experience of God’s love with others.  Most of us have extra money that we can use to help those in need.  Most of us have possessions, like clothes, gathering dust in closets or on shelves that we could give as an offering to others.  All of us have gifts which God has endowed us with to use as an offering in ministry for and with others.

The problem is, we aren’t always willing to bring our offerings to the Lord.  Our hearts are not moved enough to give.  I would like to say that I get up every day ready to pour myself out for the work of the Lord.  In reality, I’d rather sleep in.  I’d rather spend the extra bit of money I have on things like boutique shower gels and hand soaps, cd’s, books, clothes, fancy coffee, and whatever else might catch my eye than put that money aside to give to someone struggling to make ends meet.  Instead of using the new tablet my family got me to work on my writing (for which they got it for me in the first place), I play mindless games that suck away time I could spend on more important things.

It’s not that any of those things are wrong in and of themselves, but when they prevent me from offering myself fully and completely to God’s service, they do become a problem.  God says, “Give me what you have.”  I say, “How about just one thing?”  Or, “Mmmm….not today.”  What does that say about the state of my heart?  What does your offering say about yours?

I want to close this blog with one final piece of scripture.  In Exodus 26 we find that the people have brought so much to give to the construction of the Lord’s tabernacle that the workers cannot use it all.  The foreman went to Moses and said, “The people are bringing more than enough for doing the work the Lord commanded to be done.” (Vs. 5)

Do you see it?  If we, God’s people, were to bring all we had to give to the Lord then it would be more than enough to do the work God has called us to do.  Can you imagine what that would like?  No more hunger.  An end to poverty.  Recovery from addictions.  Forgiveness abounding.  Peace.  Love.  Justice.  Vibrant faith.  “From what you have, take an offering for the Lord…”  What shall we bring for the Lord today?

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 249: The Presence

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. 
After the wind there was an earthquake,  
but the Lord was not in the earthquake.   
After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. 
 
 And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
     

When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
Have you been in the presence of God, lately?  Tell me, what did you hear?
Blessings and Peace,
Sara 

Confession 247: Refreshment

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 At the end of a busy week, I find myself in need of refreshment for my soul.  I love that I can go to the Word and find what I need.  Here is some “refreshment” from Psalm 19.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara
The law of the Lord is perfect,
    refreshing the soul.
 
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
    making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right,
    giving joy to the heart.
 
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
    giving light to the eyes.
  
 The fear of the Lord is pure,
    enduring forever.
 
The decrees of the Lord are firm,
    and all of them are righteous.

Confession 256: Kite Flying

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 I took you from the ends of the earth,
    from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
    I have chosen you and have not rejected you. 
 So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:9-10
  
My oldest started Kindergarten a couple of weeks ago.  It's great, and he loves it, and we are slowly finding our rhythm in this new stage of life.  But, like most transitions, it wasn't an easy one to make.  Parent Night was especially difficult for me.  So many emotions coursed through my body.  Anger and bitterness emerged as I dealt with the fact that I am not working in the school which my son attends.  I've had to let go of the picture in my head of us walking to and from school together, sharing our days with one another.  And there were the tears which stung my eyes as I walked through his new classroom and watched him explore his new "home'. 
 
In sharing all of this with a friend, I received from her this encouraging word.  
 
 
"Our children are like kites.  We hold the string at the end of the kite, and when they are first born we keep the kite string very short and they are right by us.  As they get older, we continue to let the kite string out, so they can grow in their independence.  You are just letting your kite string out a little more with this step, but remember you are never letting go of the string that ties you to Garrett.  Just think of the parents taking their kids to college.  Whew!  Their kite strings are really getting long, but no parent ever lets go of the end of the string."
 
As I was reading her e-mail, it occurred to me that this analogy is true for our relationship with God, as well.  God says, "I am with you".  Jesus reiterates that in the Gospel of Matthew when he tells his followers:
 
Remember, I am always with you until the end of time.
Matthew 28:20
 
Even so, there are times in this life when we feel as if we are being carried away by a strong wind.  We feel as if we are a kite that has broken off from it's string, tossed and battered in the wind.  It can be easy to forget that God is still there holding onto our string.  Why doesn't he reel us in?  Because, what would we learn if he did?  How would we grow in our faith if God never let us ride on the wind? 
 
In Hebrews 6 the author speaks of the importance of Christians growing and maturing in their faith.  We can't grow in our faith if God protects us from all the ups and downs of life.  Time and again Scripture shows us that it is through the struggles of life that real faith emerges.  It is in those times of trials that God is able to show us his mighty hand. 
 
 
And so, he lets us fly through both the gentle breezes and the raging storms of this human life.  However, no matter how far we fly, God never lets go of the string.  Through it all, he charts our course and leads us where he wants us to go.


And so, as hard as it will be as my children grow and mature, I rest assured that there are stronger hands than mine holding their line!!




Blessing and Peace,


Sara











					

		
		
			





			
				



	
	

					
Confession 255: The Pastor’s Wife
			


	


				

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Call me lazy, but with the start of school (at which I work and just got promoted from paraprofessional to Teacher’s Assistant), the start of play practice (of which I am directing) and the start of youth group (at which I am helping) I haven’t had a lot of time to keep up on the blogging!!  I’m starting to get a schedule worked out, but it’s definitely an adjustment period.  Therefore, I am re-posting a piece I wrote and published over on Cooking Up Faith a few weeks ago.  If you’ve already read it, I’m sorry.  If not, let me know what you think!!


Blessings and Peace,
Sara 


 


To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.


1 Peter 5: 1-3








I met my husband at seminary.  He was working toward a Master of Divinity degree while I was working toward a Master’s in Christian Education.  I was drawn to him the first time I saw him.  It wasn’t long before I realized that I had met the man God intended to be the one I would walk with through this life.  Of course, that also meant that I would soon become “the pastor’s wife”.  That was not something I had ever planned on!  




I remember sitting in a council meeting when my husband and I were introduced to a new congregation some years ago.  After Chris had talked about some of the things he wanted to do, one of the members looked at me and asked, “So, what are you going to do in the church?”  I completely froze.  What was I going to do?  I had no idea there were any expectations for me!  




Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to serving the church.  God has equipped me with my own set of gifts and has given me opportunities to use them in every one of the congregations we have served.  However, it is Chris who was called by God at a young age to go into formal ministry.  It is a role he takes very seriously, and he throws his entire being into shepherding his flocks.  Therefore, I try and support him in that.  I serve as a confidant, a critic, a think tank, an editor, a fielder and a fan.  




One of the most difficult aspects of being a ministry spouse is watching the person you love be hurt by members of the congregation.  There can be a dark underside to church leadership where church members become more interested in personal power than in being a follower of Christ.  I have, on occasion, watched as Chris’ integrity has been attacked and as his intentions have been misrepresented and miss communicated.  It is heartbreaking as a spouse, because when he hurts, I hurt. 




Furthermore, when your pastor’s family is hurting because of the church, the congregation’s ministry will suffer.  It’s so hard to motivate yourself to walk into the doors of a church and engage in relationships with people when your family is hurting because of the words and actions of fellow believers.  It’s hard for a pastor to engage in effective ministry when he/she is constantly feeling the need to put defenses into place.




Please don’t think that being part of a ministry family is not a rewarding experience.  I love this life that God has called us to!  I get the opportunity to love on and encourage people on a regular basis.  It’s one of my favorite things to do!!  I love leading women in Bible study, working with our youth and engaging in mission projects.  We are blessed right now to be serving a congregation that is full of Christ’s love.  They have adopted our children and seek to love and nurture and lead them into a life with Christ.  God has given us opportunities to bring others to him, to help our community, and to be in relationship with many different people.  God is working in the midst of our congregation, and what a joy it is to be able to work alongside him!!




Now, when someone asks me what I’m going to do for the church, I know what to say.  I’m going to do whatever God calls me to do in whatever fashion he wants it done.  And I’m going to continue to seek him and to grow in him so that when my race is finished he might say, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”



					

		
		
			





			
				



	
	

					
Confession 244: Kindergarten
			


	


				

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Our oldest son is starting Kindergarten tomorrow, and I have to confess that my husband and I are having a harder time than we expected letting him go.  My dad assures me that he will, indeed, come home again.  But it’s so hard not to be there when they take these first steps into big-kid-hood!!  My husband wrote a beautiful article the other day that gets to the heart of what we’re both feeling, I think.  So, I twisted his arm to let me share his words.  He doesn’t like people to know he has a sensitive side! 🙂


Blessings and Peace,
Sara


  


“Back To School” 




Teacher meetings began last week, back to school or meet the teacher night is tomorrow and Thursday will be the first day of school.  Another year full of possibilities, another year full of potential.  Highs and lows, successes and failures, opportunities seized and opportunities lost, chances to shine and excel, new friends to meet, new love to explore, heartbreak to experience, victory and defeat, championships to be won and lost, and above all lessons learned.




These are just some of what is typically experienced during a typical school year, although we all know there is no such thing as a typical school year.  It begins with such promise and excitement, new clothes and hair styles, new school supplies and high hopes.  




This school year has me feeling a little sentimental.  On Thursday morning we send Garrett off to Kindergarten.  The new backpack has been purchased (Lego Star Wars, of course), all the supplies have been carefully purchased and placed in said backpack (complete with Spiderman pencil box), the school clothes have been carefully picked out and the excitement mounts.  Garrett has asked so many questions about school and what he might experience.  He is worried about people thinking he is silly.  He is worried that his favorite new shirt might not be all that cool.  




Daddy is worried too.  It seems like it was just yesterday that I held that little boy in my arms for the first time, him already holding his head up high and looking all over, taking in his surroundings and this strange new world he had just entered.  Now, in a couple of days he enters a new world where Mommy and Daddy can’t be there to catch him if he falls, we can’t be there to sooth him when someone hurts his feelings, we can’t be there when he needs us.   




Now, I know that he doesn’t need us as much as we think he does, but this new world he is excited about exploring is inevitably going to cause him joys and pains, he will meet new friends and also have his feelings hurt by others, he will learn many lessons, some through pain.  For a parent, standing back and watching, knowing that pain is going to come and that there is nothing I can do about it, is hard.  Our little boy isn’t just beginning school this week, he is entering a new world that is out of my control.




Countless reflections come to mind as I think about how God watches over us, his children, as sees all the pain and hurt that is in front of us.  As I think of the anxiety I have about Garrett starting school and going slightly beyond my control (although that boy has never been controllable), I wonder about the feelings God must have as He watches his children everyday hurting each other, making decisions that will lead to pain.  He could intervene, he could stay by us in a way that would ensure we never experience any of this, could protect us in a bubble and shield us from all potential harm.  He could do all that, but he doesn’t.  He knows that we will never become who we are created to be unless we experience pain and hurt, highs and lows, joys and sorrows.  God could protect us, but in the end, it would do us more harm.




So now, with my eyes starting to get misty as I think about walking away from Garrett on Thursday morning, leaving him alone to learn and experience, I must have faith that my Heavenly Father will be with him, (and me) as he begins to navigate this new, and not always easy, world.


As always, it is a pleasure to be your pastor and in ministry with you to a God who loves us enough to allow us to grow through all sorts of experiences.




Blessings,


Chris



					

		
		
			





			
				



	
	

					
Confession 243: Fan or Follower
			


	


				

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For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous.  Romans 2:13




My husband just began a sermon series on the book, Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman.  The premise of this book is that many of our churches in the United States are really good at making fans of Jesus, but not true followers.  He says that our sanctuaries have become more like stadiums, where pastors and worship teams work to make Jesus more attractive and appealing to folks to get them in the door.  Sunday worship becomes the week’s entertainment, but not much more.  Churches work hard to make Jesus “cool”, which is really the last thing Jesus ever wanted to be.


 


I finished up a Bible study this weekend on the life and teachings of the Apostle Paul.  I was trying to decide where to go next.  I like alternating Bible study using book guides with Bible study using God as a guide! 🙂  I decided to light on the book of Romans for a bit because, quite frankly, I don’t like it.  I know that in the realms of theological study this statement is absolute heresy!!  The Book of Romans is the foundation of our faith!  Martin Luther actually taught that it should be memorized word for word by all Christians!  However, I must confess that often when a passage of Romans is presented to me to read all I hear in my head is: “Wahmp, whamp whamp, whamp whamp….”  (Do you get the Charlie Brown reference?)  It’s too heady for me, which is precisely why I felt convicted to spend a little more time digging deeper with the Spirit through Romans.  And what did God give me?  A verse that ties in perfectly with the things I’ve been thinking about these past few days!!  God never ceases to amaze and inspire me! 🙂




Paul says in verse 2:13 that it is not those who hear the law who are righteous, but those who do something with it.  It’s not enough to go to church every couple of Sundays and politely listen to what the pastor is saying about the Word of God.  It’s not enough to go to a women’s event once or twice a year and feel good about God.  It’s not enough to listen to K-Love while driving to and from work and occasionally humming along to the songs.  That’s what fans do.  God doesn’t want fans.  He wants followers.  “Come, follow me,” Jesus said.  






If we simply take in the Word, then our lives never change.  God wants to come bursting into our hearts and start rearranging furniture, not sit down and have a cup of tea!  The life of a follower is one of action.  We hear God’s Word and act on it.  We bring his Word to others.  We seek out ways to show his love to others.  We think and meditate on his Word.  We let it soak into our souls so that it may pour out of us into the world.  Do you know what Jesus called those who merely heard and recited the Law of Moses, rather than putting it into practice?  White sepulchres; pretty tombs.  There was nothing there beneath the surface.




I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a pretty tomb.  I want my life to be vibrant.  I want deep springs of water bubbling forth from my soul.  I want to be a follower, running out on the field instead of sitting in the stands.  It’s hard work, there’s not a lot of glory here on Earth, it’s not glamorous and there’s a greater chance of injury.  But Paul says God’s followers will be declared righteous in the end.  And what could we ever hope to earn more than the favor of our Lord and Creator?




Blessings and Peace,


Sara



					

		
		
			





			
				



	
	

					
Confession 242: A Special Guest
			


	


				

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I'm so excited today to be hosting one of my favorite bloggers on my site.  Cooking Up Faith is a beautiful blog full of wonderful thoughts on faith and some fabulous recipes to boot!  After you read this post, go on over and look around at Cooking Up Faith.  You'll definitely go back for more!! 











Ever feel like you’re one step away from falling deep into a pit? We often question every decision we’ve ever made, and the ones we are making even now.  



 We wonder if we’ve got this all together – work, parenting, as a child of God…are we doing enough…are getting it right?? 





A tightrope walker will usually be okay on the rope as long as she’s balanced and looking straight ahead. 






  









But when she looks down her foot starts to slip, her legs wobble, and she’s one second away from falling.





She falls, but a cushion below catches her, bounces her back up.





When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your love, O Lord, supported me. 


When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. 


Psalm 94:18-19





We fall daily. Not so much our failures. Though we have many in Christ Jesus there is no condemnation, no judgment, no punishment. 

It’s our eyes that fall – away from God and on to ourselves.


Our feet start to slip, our legs wobble, and we are one second away from falling into a pit of despair, anxiety, depression, insecurities. 

Yet, His love is there, His Word is there. We open up our Bibles and our hearts call out to Him; and our cushion catches us.

And we bounce back up. 

One of the best things I’ve ever done for myself is buy this little book…










It is full of scriptures arranged by topic; such as prayer, motherhood, God’s love, joy, strength, ect. 

I carry it around with me throughout the day. I even bring it with me in the car and read through it at stop lights. 

Being constantly in His Word is our constant source of hope and help in this fallen world. 

May our eyes not fall…may they be steady and balanced on Him. 

How gracious God will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.
Isaiah 30:19