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Confession 232: Cranky Daze

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May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.  2 Thessalonians 3:5
 Yesterday was a cranky day.  I’m talking a beating my fists against our formica counter tops and screaming, “I hate my children!!!” cranky day.  Now, before you call the division of family services, you have to understand that I really don’t hate my children.  In fact, after my tantrum I asked a prayer of forgiveness and assured God that I didn’t really mean it, that I loved my children and really wanted to keep them around.  But, if he (God) could see fit to instill better listening skills within them and make them revel in clean-up rather than mess making, that would be really fantastic!!
In my defense, I had mopped water off the bathroom floor twice, given the children enough food to keep a prize steer fully satisfied, picked up about 500 Trio blocks, endured a 45 minute fit over fruit snacks, cleaned  most of a roll of toilet paper from the bathtub, broken up several fist/foot fights and gone grocery shopping where I tried to give my children to one of the store owners as free labor.  All of this was done to the ear splitting background noise of little boys playing superheroes and chipmunks.  Really, it could have made Mother Teresa have a mental breakdown.
Tired, unhappy with myself and my 4 year old who was still wide awake at 10 o’clock at night due to an unanticipated nap in the evening, I decided we would both go for a drive.  I strapped him into his car seat, turned on K-Love, and set off down our dark and quiet country roads.  For awhile, all I heard from the radio was “blah, blah, blah”…  And then God showed up.  Through the darkness of the middle of nowhere, God came through loud and clear in the form of David Crowder singing, “How He Loves Us.”  
In those moments of quiet worship, God reminded me of all the little ways he had been with me through my cranky daze.  I saw his hand at work in the life of our family, felt how much he loves us, and was filled with the peace that only he can bring.  God helped me to let go of my crankiness and gave me the assurance that tomorrow, indeed, would be better.
And it is.  No, my children have not suddenly morphed into cherubs who, when not picking up and cleaning, sit quietly with their hands in their laps awaiting their next instructions.  But my attitude toward them has changed.  Instead of going into Medusa mode at the sight of breakfast cereal shoved into a cup of apple juice and then dumped onto the floor, I quietly cleaned up the mess and informed them that there would be no Spiderman cereal tomorrow morning.  As I was cleaning the kitchen and saw a cord being dragged from the bathroom to the living room, I stopped the snapping beast within and calmly held out my hand for the hair dryer which I replaced in its place of residence.  When hundreds of books were dumped from a bookshelf I politely informed the dumper that he would no longer play with his chipmunks today if Mommy didn’t have some assistance in picking up the mess.  And, instead of seeing a living room cluttered with blocks and dominoes, I am able to smile at the creativity of my boys building a swimming pool for their Batman toys in the middle of the living room floor.
It is now 11:25 A.M.  I’m praying that the peace of Christ which transcends all understanding can last another 10 or so hours so that we will all be spared another cranky daze!!
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 231: Bind Us Together

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And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 
Colossians 3:14
When I was a little girl, our Sunday night worship service always ended with the congregation gathering in a circle of joined hands around the sanctuary and singing the hymn, “Bind Us Together”.  The words of the hymn come from Colossians 3:14 in which Paul exhorts the fellowship of believers to bear with one another, forgiving one another and loving one another completely, for it is love which holds all relationships together.
Our contemporary society has completely distorted the true meaning of love, replacing a heartfelt concern and compassion for others with materialistic extravagance and false promises.  Buy her diamonds, she’ll love you forever.  Give the luxury of a new car and he’ll forget all the time you don’t spend together.  This is not what Paul had in mind when he spoke of the binding power love has to unite people.  And, it is certainly not the love Jesus spoke of to his disciples when he said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  
The love shown on the cross, the love shown by Paul as he struggled from town to town, is a love that is both fierce and fearless.  It is a love no money can buy and that no one can give from themselves alone.  It is a love that seeks to lift others from their struggles, a love that seeks to conquer oppression and grief and desperation and despair.  It is a love born of hope, of the knowledge and understanding that there is more to this life than the demands of daily living alone.  It is a love born of the ultimate sacrifice, a price paid by our Creator that can never be paid back in full.  It is the bond that unites us, as fellow children of God, one to another.  “For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God!” Paul writes.  
As believers, we are equal partners in sin and we are equal partners in redemption.  Although we may not always agree on the details, we must stand united in our practice of love.  We must seek to build one another up, not tear one another down.  We must seek to encourage one another, to listen to one another, to console one another and to uphold one another.  We need to love one another as God loved us, and we need to care for one another as Jesus cared for those he ministered to on Earth.
“Bind us together, Lord, bind us together, Lord, bind us together with love.”
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 230: A Community of Life

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All the believers were together and had everything in common.  They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.  Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.  They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.  And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.  Acts 2:44-47
“God recognizes our need for community and desires to meet the need through His church–the body of believers God organized to offer a community of life.”  (from Paul:90 Days on His Journey of Faith, by Beth Moore)

I love going to church on Sunday mornings.  I love gathering with fellow believers and sharing in the experience of worshiping our God together.  I love being challenged through God’s word and the message.  I love that children are allowed to sit on the communion rail during Children’s Time.  It’s a little thing, but it says a lot about our congregation.  And, of course, I love to sing.  Church is a safe haven for me.  I feel the joy of the Lord on Sunday mornings.  Yet, as I was reading through my devotional today, I wondered, “Is our church a community of life?”  In many ways, that answer is yes.  We are a welcoming and loving congregation.  We are a giving congregation.  We are generous with our building.  We seek to draw people into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  We are open to change.  But when I think about what it means to be a “community of life” through the context of Acts 2, it becomes clear to me that there is still more work to do.
What should a “community of life” look like?  Should it end after worship on Sunday afternoon?  Should it consist only of the occasional mission drives and collections?  Should we gather together in fellowship only on holidays or when the youth are hosting a fundraising dinner?  Should regular church attendance be relegated to two Sundays a month?  And should Bible study be held only once or twice a week?
When I think about a church as a place which offers a “community of life” I think of people being saved, literally.  I picture life rafts being thrown into a raging sea and drowning people being pulled safely to shore.  Offering a “community of life” means meeting people’s needs everyday, however we can. 

It’s people coming together like the early church and giving up what they have accumulated so that others may have what they need.  It’s people engaging with one another regularly beyond the Sunday morning service to grow deeper in their faith and relationship with God.

A “community of life” involves fellowship time together where everyone who enters is welcomed and accepted and valued for who they are.  It is a place where hope is given freely and people are willing to see the potential in every new face seeking the Lord. 

Offering a “community of life” means living in a way that honors life, so that people who are lost and hurting and hopeless will say, “I want to be here.  I need to know this God!”

I LOVE my church.  And, more importantly, God LOVES my church.  He LOVES your church, too.  And he has commissioned us as believers to spread his message of love and hope and forgiveness and grace to those who have not yet heard, those who do not yet know.  And we do that by using our resources as a church, the Body of Christ, to offer our communities a “community of life.”

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 229: 8 Viruses Later…

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Well, almost 3 months, 8 viruses and $150 later I am finally back to writing!!  It’s been a good little break, although I’ve lost my entire readership.  However, I’m determined to get back into the groove and work on doing those things which I feel God has called me to do.

I am currently in the midst of directing our fledgling community theater’s first production which will be held this coming weekend.  As I have never directed a play before, it’s been a really good challenge for me.  Luckily, my father is a 30 year theater director veteran, so I’ve had lots of help!!  I’ve learned a lot about leadership and that sometimes you just have to make a decision and go with it, regardless of its popularity. 🙂  I’ve made mistakes and grown from them and have developed some skills I didn’t even know I had.

I guess this is the process of life itself.  We move forward through experiences and challenges, growing and changing along the way.  We learn about ourselves, and others, and how we fit into this world.  We unlock hidden potential and see the gifts God has placed within us to further advance his kingdom.  We get frustrated and hurt, make mistakes (sometimes colossal) and grow in maturity through it all.  We “fix our eyes on the prize for which God called us heavenward through Christ Jesus”, understanding that even though our life has not evolved in the way we imagined or envisioned when we first developed the script, it is a good and faithful production of what God has given us to do.  At the end of the journey the best we can hope to hear is, “Well done, good and faithful servant.  Welcome home!” 

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 226: Basement Verses

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Our Women’s Bible Study group has been working through Cynthia Heald’s Becoming a Woman of Simplicity.  The chapter this week was entitled, “Living in the Basement”, and focused on having our foundation firmly rooted in the Word of God.  Heald shared several verses that have become her so-called “basement verses”–passages of Scripture that are foundational to her faith and, thereby, guide her daily living.  I asked our ladies this week to share some of their “basement verses” with the rest of the group so that we might encourage and strengthen one another.

I love sharing Scripture with others. So, I thought I would take it one step further and ask you to share some of your “basement verses” here with me.  What are some passages of Scripture that are your go-to verses, that help to center you and encourage you as you seek to live a life of faith?

Here are a few of mine:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “Plans to prosper you, not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11


I lift up my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. He will not let your foot slip.  Indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. Psalm 121:1-3


“In this world you will have trouble.  But, take heart! I have overcome the world!!”  John 16:33


Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7


In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39


Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 225: Forward, March!

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Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me?  Tell the Israelites to move on.” Exodus 14:15
I am a history buff.  I love researching and reading about things that happened years ago.  I enjoy going to museums and touring old homes.  I love history documentaries and programs.  I have a particular passion for WWII, probably because my grandpa fought in the war and shared with me many of his experiences.  My love of history is inherited from my dad, the history teacher, who has a passion for the Civil War and believed that family vacations should consist of driving hundreds of miles to walk through various Civil War battlefields.  Although I didn’t always appreciate it at the time, I am so grateful for those treks now.  I find that the past calls out to me in ways that help me to better understand the present.  The present comes together for me by looking into the past.  And, there is the added bonus that in history you almost always know the end of the story.
Sometimes, however, we can get stuck in the past, especially if it’s our past.  Many of us hold onto things from our past in order to avoid moving into the future.  We think of the way life used to be before the layoff, before the sickness, before the divorce, before the kids grew up.  We tell ourselves that even though life might have been difficult in the past, at least it made sense.
Perhaps one of the most dramatic Biblical examples of this comes in Exodus 14. The Israelites had just left Egypt after generations of brutal enslavement.  They had just witnessed God’s mighty acts on their behalf with the plagues that decimated the Egyptians.  And yet, finding themselves wedged between the sea and Pharaoh’s mighty army these were their words to Moses:
“Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?! ….It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” Exodus 14: 11,12
Can I ask for a show of hands of anyone else who has ever uttered something like this to God?  It seems to be a part of human nature to revert to our past when our future looks difficult.  And yet, what does God say to Moses?  “Tell the Israelites to MOVE ON!!”  This is sound advice for us too.  We have to let go of what was so that we can embrace what is to come.  And what is to come might indeed be very difficult to bear.  The Israelites spent 40 years wandering in circles throughout the desert while God shaped them into his chosen people.  But they had freedom, they had God, and at the end of the journey their children entered The Promised Land.  
It is the same for us today.  If we trust God enough to move on he will part the waters for us. He will lead us through the seas and the deserts of our lives and bring us into the abundant life he has promised to each of us. So, “Forward, march!”  Put one foot in front of the other and go.  See the wonders God has in store for you this day.
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 223: Crazy Boy

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When Israel was a child, I loved him,  and out of Egypt I called my son… I led them with cords of human kindness,  with ties of love. To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them. Hosea 11: 1, 4

As a mother, I often worry about my children.  My boys are 3 and 5; very active, very curious, very “creative”.  Some days I feel like I’m doing an okay job as a parent.  And then, there are the other days.  Lately, my 3 year old has been testing the limits of acceptability with his behavior.  Determined and defiant he must always do anything in the most difficult and challenging way possible following the path he has made rather than the path my husband and I would lay down for him.  The disciplinary measures that worked well with our 5 year old don’t even cause my 3 year old to bat an eye.  We often joke that he will be lucky if we let him make it to age 4.  I know that God has made him strong and willful for a reason and that his determination will serve him well for some task in the future, but right now, it just makes me crazy!!  PLEASE Moms, tell me I’m not the only one!!!

I wonder, as I sit here telling my 3 year old to leave the new puppy alone for the umpteenth time this morning, if God himself doesn’t have days where he just wants to throw his hands up with his stubbornly disobedient and rebellious children.  And why doesn’t he?  He’s the creator and source of all life.  He could just wipe us all out and start over again.  Likewise, I could place my 3 year old out on the lawn with a sign that says, “Free to a good home.”  Believe me, I’ve been sorely tempted!!  But the truth is, for all of his challenging behavior, for all of his orneriness and “wildness”, I love the little imp more than myself.  Because just as he is about to drive me over the edge he does something sweet and wonderful and beautiful that reminds me what a precious gift I have been given.

And, believe it or not, God thinks that you and I are his precious gifts as well.  He created us and loves us and wants us to love him.  He doesn’t care how much money we make or how together we have it or how many times we screw things up or how many messes he has to clean up.  He just loves us and longs for us and wants to bless our lives.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara


Confession 222: A Love Story

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I was drawn to my husband the first time I saw him.  Really, it’s the truth.  I don’t know what it was, but I remember meeting him my first few days at seminary and thinking, “There’s a guy I want to get to know better.”  I was 26 years old when I met Chris and had never had a real “boyfriend”.  Trust me, it wasn’t for lack of trying!!  But I had finally come to the conclusion that God was protecting my heart for someone special and when I first saw Chris my heart was drawn his way.

Of course, he had no clue.  I suppose a “normal” girl would have actually talked to him and initiated some sort of friendly relationship.  I, being a big chicken, chose the more subtle approach of “friendly stalking.”  Our apartment complex was in the shape of a horseshoe, with Chris’ apartment directly across the lawn from mine.  He always had his shades open, so I used my powers of observation and quickly learned his schedule.  I enlisted the help of friends who had classes with him to strike up conversations and get to know him better on my behalf.  I would walk those friends to and from classes to “bump into him”.  I threw parties and invited him over but could never work up the nerve to actually talk to him.  This went on for several months.  Finally, somehow, we started talking.  A week before Valentine’s Day we decided to go see a movie together.  We followed the movie with some drinks and he walked me back to the entrance of my building before sprinting off to the warmth of his own apartment.  The next week, Valentine’s Day, we made plans to go to an old movie theater in Wrigleyville to watch Casablanca with another couple.  A double-date.  Except, only 1/2 of the other couple made it to the show.  Our double date had turned into a girls night out.  And thus began the three month long saga of “Are we actually dating, or are we just friends?”

Finally, in May, after three months of hanging out and being good buds, Chris took the initiative and threw his arm around me during a movie.  From that moment on, we were a couple.  Seven months later, on Christmas Eve, Chris proposed.  Eight months after that we were married.  It’s been seven years since we said “I do”.  We have moved three times and brought two rowdy boys into this world.  Our marriage, as any other, has had its share of ups and downs.  But even in the down moments, I think about the way my heart was drawn to Chris that day nine years ago and I know that God was saving my heart for him.  And I thank God for that gift every day.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara