The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast wilderness. Deuteronomy 2:7
These past few weeks, I have been in an M-O-O-D. Instead of feeling positive and upbeat, I find myself frustrated and irritable and frustrated and irritable at the fact that I feel frustrated and irritable. I think there are several factors behind this and I get that our emotions are just emotions and we choose how we respond to them. But sometimes, I just want someone to say, “I understand exactly how you’re feeling.” I also want them to say, “Here is definitively what you should do to get your positive mojo back.” That never happens.
I know that many people out there have these amazing, clear as a mountain stream moments of spiritual epiphany where God sends out a message with trumpets blaring and there is an LED spotlight pointing straight to the path they should take. I am not one of those people.
In my own personal faith journey, God seems more inclined to lead me through overgrown, unmarked forest paths that intertwine and wrap around and cross over mud bottomed streams full of catfish which I don’t even like to eat. It’s irritating. (Did I mention I’ve been in an M-O-O-D?) And as much as I whine and complain and show just how much of a spoiled ungrateful child I am, God continues to stand resolute, arms crossed over his expansive chest saying, “You’re just gonna have to keep slogging through, baby.”
You see, one of the things I believe is that God is much more interested in the “what” of who we are than the “where”. God wants to make sure our life journey leads us closer and closer to Him. Therefore, He’s willing to let us slog it out in muddy streams and overgrown paths in order to complete the great and perfect work in us He has begun. And not only is God willing to let us slog it out, He will patiently stand before us and wait while we (I) dig our (my) heels into the muddy bank and get our (my) full stubborn on.
In the same way I work to outlast my stubborn as a mule 5 year old, so God, with infinitely more patience and gentleness, outlasts me.
“I’m not moving,” I say.
“Okay,” God replies.
“You can’t make me,” I say.
“That’s fine,” God replies.
“Seriously, I’m done with this,” I say.
“Then be done with it,” God replies. “But I’ll be waiting on the other side.”
And that’s it, because God knows—He KNOWS—that regardless of how long I choose to sit on that muddy shore pouting, I will eventually pull myself up and slog on through. And I will do this because no matter how crazy and complicated and irritating the path seems, I believe—I BELIEVE—in God’s plan for my life.
I believe that He sees the bigger, eternal picture of things. I believe that He is working right now not only on my future, but on the future of my children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. There are things coming together right now that I will never see—things that I cannot comprehend or or know but that will matter someday down the line of legacy.
And so, regardless of an M-O-O-D, I keep slogging on through trusting that one day, God will let me see the map.
Blessings and Peace,
Sara
Great post! I thought I was the only one who feels this way! Thank you for sharing the hard stuff!
Thanks, Tina! It’s nice to know that I’m not alone, either!! 🙂 Chris is thinking about putting together a message series called “Masquerade” about all of the masks we wear to cover up the messy stuff in life. The reality is, life is messy. Faith is messy. Christian life is messy. But there’s amazing and wonderful beauty within the mess! 🙂
I thought for a second there you were posting a conversation of mine that you had eavesdropped on! You created some great mental pictures, Sara. When I get frustrated because the plan isn’t laid out for me as clearly as I would like, I think of Max Lucado saying that we are pieces of the jigsaw puzzle and God is holding the box top. Those completed puzzles often have beautiful pictures!
Oooo, I LOVE that image!! I’m going to remember that. I cannot tell you how glad it makes me that I am not the only one having these conversations with God! As a pastor’s wife, I sometimes feel like I need to have it all together spiritually when in reality, I don’t–at all. None of us does. However, we will press on toward the goal to which God has called us heavenward that is Jesus Christ. Thanks for stopping by!