I have to confess, I’m kind of an expert at rejection. Growing up as a nerdy girl in a small school, you got used to being picked last in every sport in gym class. I got called “three eyes” instead of four during my lazy eye corrective patch stage. Most school dances I went with friends rather than dates. And, so on and so forth. Professionally, I’ve had every type of rejection letter/email/phone call you could get. The worst is the professional “it’s not you, it’s me” speech. Whatever…I just always assume God has something different and better in store. And usually, He does.
It’s ironic then, given my vast experience with rejection, that I am really not much of a risk taker. Sure, there have been moments when God has blown the doors of my life wide open and forced me to free fall into a risky endeavor. That’s how I ended up at seminary twelve years ago–giving up stable, full-time employment to move to a city where I didn’t know anyone and start a Master’s degree program I wasn’t sure would get me anywhere. And low and behold, it forever changed my life, although not in the ways I anticipated. However, I’m digressing….
The point is that when Amy Sullivan invited me to participate in this little “risky business” trial, I wasn’t sure I qualified. In fact, my initial response was, “I don’t want to take a risk.” And that, I think, is precisely why I need this. Over the past year or so, I’ve kind of been stuck in a rut professionally. I know (kind of) where I want to be. But, I’ve done very little to get there. And part of doing very little to get there is because the thought of risking everything I’ve dreamed of and hoped for is terrifying. Thinking about it and doing nothing is much safer than putting it all out there and risking falling flat on your face.
What if the dream I’ve aspired most to never materializes? What if I’m not good enough? What if I have to throw my dream away? What if I was wrong about everything I thought God was calling me to do?
Those are some scary thoughts. Just typing them makes me want to shut the computer and drown myself in a Hallmark Channel movie.
However, the reality is that I will never achieve anything if I don’t take a risk. So right now, I am baby-stepping into risk-taking.
I’ve recently signed a freelancing contract to write an entire unit of curriculum for an online based educational publisher. I just received my “author packet” and I was tempted to immediately email the project manager and tell her she needed to find someone else. “I can’t do it!!!! I’m not smart enough or experienced enough or talented enough! I can’t do this and work full-time, too! It’s going to be awful and I’ll never get another writing contract again!!” And while all of those things might, indeed, be true–I need to take this risk. I need to push myself in the direction that I feel (that I have always felt) God leading me to go.
Therefore, I’m taking a deep breath and wading in. I don’t know where it will all lead or if it will be successful or if it will take me a step farther toward my dream of being a professional writer. I do know, however, that I will grow and be a wiser woman for having taken it.
Blessings and Peace,
Link up with me at Amy Sullivan’s place and share the ways you are engaging in some risky business!!
26 thoughts on “Confession 319: Risky Business”
That’s so Awesome! You’ll be amazing at this Sara. You’re a wonderful writer and your smart – perfect for the job!! I’m so happy for you.
I have a bad habit of talking myself out of everything. It’s terrible, because I think I miss opportunities, because I tell myself I can’t or it won’t work out or I’m not smart/talented enough. I very much dislike the habit of stinking thinking in me. It’s easier to do nothing than it is to take that risk and walk through the doors God opens.
Congratulations on your new adventure. I can’t wait to hear how it all turns out.
Tricia, you’re so sweet. Thank you! I’m serious about being a nerdy girl. 🙂 I like your “stinking thinking” comment. I think, as women, we tend to be more prone to that. Confidence is not something we’re taught a lot. You should do this Thursday link-up, too. Your blog is fabulous!!
I love that we titled our posts the same thing! Super excited for you! Way to be brave!
That’s hilarious! Well, you know what they say about “great minds”… We must have both experienced the 80’s! 🙂 Looking forward to visiting your site!!
Way to go, Sara! I think it is an amazing opportunity for you! Keep us posted!
Thanks, Martha. I’m really excited. I’ve been working for them for about a year now, and I really enjoy it. Although, the scope of this project is pretty intimidating!
Sara, you will be a fabulous curriculum writer for this project.
Thank you, Melody. I appreciate the encouragement!! It would probably help if I actually started on the project! 🙂
This is awesome! WOW — you really jumped on out there. Blessings for the journey with this opportunity.
Thank you, Alene. I appreciate that. We’ll see how it goes… 🙂
I find you so funny and witty. For real. When your post is over, I always want to read more. You need to send that first paragraph off somewhere.
And now to the comment related to the news:
CONGRATS! THIS IS AMAZING AND I MEAN AMAZING AND I CAN’T STOP TYPING IN CAPS!
Talk about perfect first big gig. Thank you, thank you for joining us and sharing your risk. See, you are a risk taker.
Amy, you are too kind. Thanks for encouraging all of us to step out of our comfort zones and take some risks. You always challenge and convict me, which is what makes you such a great person to have in my life!!
Sara, what a wonderful opportunity! Congratulations for “putting it out there”! Projects like yours manage to get completed, and I’m sure you will do great!
Thanks, Susan. I hope so. I look forward to following you on your journey, as well!
This is so exciting for you!! You know, I think God often leads us to places we can’t go alone or to things we can’t accomplish by our own strength because He wants us to lean into Him.
Thanks, Jennifer. That is so true!! God’s strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. I will be leaning in a lot for that strength!
Another Risk-taker here, thanks to Amy. I am excited for you–that is huge! Good luck!
Thank you, Beth! That Amy is something else!! 🙂 Good luck to you, as well!
What a wonderful adventure. I know you’ll do great… and I can’t wait to see what this month has in store for you!
Thanks, Leslie! I’m looking forward to following your journey, too! 🙂
“…the reality is that I will never achieve anything if I don’t take a risk.” So true! Bravo as you take those baby steps! Grateful to be joining you on this #riskrejection journey.
Thank you Beth–I look forward to getting to know you better through this journey.
You can do it Mrs. Snyder!!!
Ahhh…thanks India! I love you!! You can, too! 🙂
PS: I’m baaaaaaaack. I thought of one more thing I forgot to tell you. Lisa (#24) is also working on writing curriculum for the first time. Just thought I’d share…xxoo
Whoot! Go Sara, go!! From one risk taker to another… To God be the glory.
Praying for you (and all of our #riskrejection) sisters 🙂
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