Confession 238: Remembrance

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Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12
I’ve been thinking about this verse from Psalm today as I remember a friend from high school who, I discovered from Facebook, passed away this morning from a lengthy battle with cancer. Time can be both a blessing and a curse to us mortals.  It seems to stretch on endlessly at times and then is gone before we know it.  The wise person accepts each new day as a gift to be opened with joy and thanksgiving, not wishing for less or more.  God gives us space and time on this Earth to learn to love him, and we do that through loving others.  As Christians, we should be remembered for our love.
I’ve also been thinking about the current trend in our society to “dress up” our grief.  Instead of mourning at a funeral service, we hold celebrations of life.  Our loved ones do not die, they pass on or go home.  Instead of focusing on how much we will miss them, we are encouraged to be grateful for the time we had them with us.  And while I believe that there is space for all of this, I also think we need to learn and to teach our children how to say goodbye.  And saying goodbye hurts.  We need to remember that for each person we have loved and let go of, regardless of how young or old they were, there is a light that has gone out on this Earth.  
And so, today, I am remembering Tricia.  She will be always for me that laughing bright-eyed 16 year old girl with dark curls, deep brown eyes and a vivacious personality.  I know there is much more that her family and close friends will remember, and I pray that as her young son grows older there will be warm memories for him to hold onto and carry.  But for me, I will remember a teenage girl’s joy and exuberance while living life to the fullest.  I like this traditional Irish blessing for saying goodbye.
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 237: Victorious

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Have you ever had the thought, “This is not supposed to be my life!”  Have you ever spent hours, weeks, months, even years working and toiling toward a dream for your life that despite your best efforts just won’t materialize?  Do you ever think, “Where did I go wrong?”

God and I have been working through some of these questions over the past two years.  In giving up my full-time teaching position when my husband was appointed to another church, I never dreamed that I would have any trouble finding another position.  And yet, two years later, doors have not opened.  I have questioned myself, questioned my abilities, questioned my purpose and have struggled to develop some sort of clear concise plan for my future.  At the age of 35 I find myself asking/screaming, “What am I supposed to do with my life?”  And the answer that I come to is this.  What I’m doing now is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.  Look at this quote from author, Beth Moore:

Satan definitely wants to force us off our property and make us feel like we’re getting nowhere.  But God has given us the privilege of standing in the victorious space He desires for us.  (Paul: A Journey of Faith)

 When I look at my life, I realize that God has used this time to do some good work in my soul.  He’s taught me what it means to surrender, to trust, to truly depend on him.  Because I’m not teaching full-time I have had the opportunity to spend quality time with my children, to help start a community theater in our area, to write and to engage in Bible study and time with God.  It’s been good, and it brings me joy.  Even though my professional life may not look the way I think it should, I can trust that God has placed me where he wants me for his victory.  And, as a child of God, his victory is mine.

Whenever you doubt yourself.  Whenever you feel you’re not good enough, you’re not doing enough, you’re not fulfilling your potential, remember; God has placed you in a place of VICTORY!!

Now this I know:
    The Lord gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
    with the victorious power of his right hand. 
Psalm 20:6
Blessings and Peace,
Sara 

Confession 236: A Psalm

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My good friend and spiritual mentor Liz gave me a wonderful book yesterday entitled Psalms/Now by Leslie Brandt.  This book is a contemporary interpretation of the Psalms.  I immediately opened the book to my favorite Psalm, number 121.  This interpretation only heightens my love of this beautiful message.  I thought I would share it with you this Monday morning.  And, if you get a chance, go see Liz over at God in the Everyday.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Psalm 121
Where should I look for help in my need?
To majestic mountain peaks that probe our skies
      or to giants of industry that hem in our cities?
To satellites that circle our world
      or to computers that store up our knowledge?
The answer to my problems
     and the fulfillment of my needs
   must come from God Himself,
      from Him who created skies and mountains
        and man to dwell in their midst.
He is a great God who knows our every desire,
whose watchful eye is upon us night and day.
We can make no move without His knowledge.
His concern for His children is constant;
His love for them is eternal.
  And thus the Lord will keep you,
Shielding you from the forces of evil
as a shade tree shields you
from the rays of the blazing sun.
 He does care for you,
and He will fight with you
against the enemies of your soul.
Whether you be coming or going,
He knows the course you take,
and He will go before you.

Confession 235: Quarantine

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For two whole years Paul stayed there in his own rented house and welcomed all who came to see him.  He proclaimed the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ—with all boldness and without hindrance!  Acts 28:30-31

As a parent, you try to do what is best for your children.  And yet, despite all of your good intentions, things can still go wrong.  This past Thursday my youngest was diagnosed with chickenpox.  Yes, I said CHICKENPOX!  Apparently vaccines only go so far.  The plus is that since he has been vaccinated it is a significantly milder outbreak of the virus.  The negative is that we are quarantined until the rash clears up.  Granted, as it is has been in the triple digits the past several days, we’d probably be spending a lot of time indoors anyway.  However, it wouldn’t all be spent in our indoors!!

After our first full day of quarantine my husband and pox-free oldest son went to Wal-Mart to get a few more boardgames to add to our Uno and Jenga rotations.  And, I’ve been dvr-ing the original Star Wars trilogy, as well as the old Adam West Batman show as well as the early Harry Potter movies.  But still, movies and games and blocks can only fill so much time.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the apostle Paul under house arrest in Rome for two years.  I can’t imagine staring at the same walls for two whole weeks, let alone two years!  I’m not sure Sherwin Williams sells enough paint to make that situation fresh and exciting!!  And yet, I know there are those imprisoned throughout our world for much longer periods of time.  Some, of course, are serving time for crimes committed against others.  Yet there are many forced into prison for standing up against tyranny and oppression and for fighting for freedoms that we take for granted.  It makes our week of quarantine sound like a resort vacation!!  I find myself wondering how they can stand it.  How do they face day after day of the same walls, the same furniture, unable to step outside and feel the warmth of the sun?  How do they choose to rise each morning knowing that there will be no trip to the store or the cafe, no drive through the countryside or hike through the woods or walk along the beach?  How can they stand the isolation from the rest of the world?

For those whose hope is in the Lord, I think that Paul gives a wonderful example of how to respond in those times in our lives where we are, or feel, cut off and imprisoned from the rest of the world.  To begin, Paul had friends in lots of places.  Brothers and Sisters in Christ came from all over to fellowship with him, to pray with him, to encourage him in his imprisonment.  People need to know that they’re not alone.  

Second, Paul understood that God had a plan.  He knew from the time he set out to Jerusalem several years earlier that God was sending him to Rome to preach the gospel.  He might not have expected to arrive in chains, but think of the opportunities he had to spread the gospel message!!  An enforced time of solitude can be useful in tending to the tasks God has placed before us, tasks that might, otherwise, get lost in the hustle and bustle of day to day living.

Finally, it is important to remember that God equips his people with the strength necessary to endure the tribulations they face.  No matter where we find ourselves in this life, God is there with us.  I love this passage from Joshua:
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
I don’t know how long our little quarantine will last, but I am praying that God will use this time to do some good work!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 234: The Mighty Oak

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They will be called mighty oaks, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.  
Isaiah 61:5

My husband recently built a beautiful doll crib for our niece’s second birthday.  The first step in the process of building this crib was choosing the right wood.  While I was studying the price tags, Chris was carefully studying the quality of the wood.  The white ash, while very economical, was splintered and knotty.  The grain was uneven, there was lingering bark, and there were many obvious blemishes that could not be covered up.  The pine was better looking, but the grain was still uneven and spread apart.  It was also a softer wood than the oak right next to it.  The oak, from a craftsman’s point of view, was splendid.  Fine, even grains, no knotting, no blemish, hard and strong, the oak was a piece of natural beauty that would need little in the way of a cosmetic makeover.  Although twice the price of the white ash, it was the right wood to create this crib/keepsake that our niece can keep through the years.

As I consider what it means to be a mighty oak planted for the display of the Lord’s splendor, these things come to mind:

1. The oak is strong, durable, made to withstand the test of time.  Likewise, when we keep our focus on God, we have the ability to withstand all that life throws at us.  We can stand in the face of adversity because God gives us his unsurpassing strength.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  2 Corinthians 4:8-9
2. As we walk in the Lord, as we grow deeper into him, he is able to keep us on an even keel.  In God, we are steadfast.  We don’t have to spend our lives bouncing around from one thing to the next, searching for the next best thing.  We have the best thing and God will lead us steadily onward.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3
3. In God, we have little need for a cosmetic makeover.  Through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross we are able to come before the Lord without blemish, our sin washed clean in the blood of the Lamb.
But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish, and free from accusation. Colossians 1:22
As a mighty oak planted for the Lord, we reflect his splendor when we remain faithful to him, when we walk in his ways, when we obey his commands and when we show his love to others.  We are Christ’s keepsakes, spreading his love and teaching his commands from generation to generation.
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 232: Cranky Daze

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May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.  2 Thessalonians 3:5
 Yesterday was a cranky day.  I’m talking a beating my fists against our formica counter tops and screaming, “I hate my children!!!” cranky day.  Now, before you call the division of family services, you have to understand that I really don’t hate my children.  In fact, after my tantrum I asked a prayer of forgiveness and assured God that I didn’t really mean it, that I loved my children and really wanted to keep them around.  But, if he (God) could see fit to instill better listening skills within them and make them revel in clean-up rather than mess making, that would be really fantastic!!
In my defense, I had mopped water off the bathroom floor twice, given the children enough food to keep a prize steer fully satisfied, picked up about 500 Trio blocks, endured a 45 minute fit over fruit snacks, cleaned  most of a roll of toilet paper from the bathtub, broken up several fist/foot fights and gone grocery shopping where I tried to give my children to one of the store owners as free labor.  All of this was done to the ear splitting background noise of little boys playing superheroes and chipmunks.  Really, it could have made Mother Teresa have a mental breakdown.
Tired, unhappy with myself and my 4 year old who was still wide awake at 10 o’clock at night due to an unanticipated nap in the evening, I decided we would both go for a drive.  I strapped him into his car seat, turned on K-Love, and set off down our dark and quiet country roads.  For awhile, all I heard from the radio was “blah, blah, blah”…  And then God showed up.  Through the darkness of the middle of nowhere, God came through loud and clear in the form of David Crowder singing, “How He Loves Us.”  
In those moments of quiet worship, God reminded me of all the little ways he had been with me through my cranky daze.  I saw his hand at work in the life of our family, felt how much he loves us, and was filled with the peace that only he can bring.  God helped me to let go of my crankiness and gave me the assurance that tomorrow, indeed, would be better.
And it is.  No, my children have not suddenly morphed into cherubs who, when not picking up and cleaning, sit quietly with their hands in their laps awaiting their next instructions.  But my attitude toward them has changed.  Instead of going into Medusa mode at the sight of breakfast cereal shoved into a cup of apple juice and then dumped onto the floor, I quietly cleaned up the mess and informed them that there would be no Spiderman cereal tomorrow morning.  As I was cleaning the kitchen and saw a cord being dragged from the bathroom to the living room, I stopped the snapping beast within and calmly held out my hand for the hair dryer which I replaced in its place of residence.  When hundreds of books were dumped from a bookshelf I politely informed the dumper that he would no longer play with his chipmunks today if Mommy didn’t have some assistance in picking up the mess.  And, instead of seeing a living room cluttered with blocks and dominoes, I am able to smile at the creativity of my boys building a swimming pool for their Batman toys in the middle of the living room floor.
It is now 11:25 A.M.  I’m praying that the peace of Christ which transcends all understanding can last another 10 or so hours so that we will all be spared another cranky daze!!
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 231: Bind Us Together

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And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 
Colossians 3:14
When I was a little girl, our Sunday night worship service always ended with the congregation gathering in a circle of joined hands around the sanctuary and singing the hymn, “Bind Us Together”.  The words of the hymn come from Colossians 3:14 in which Paul exhorts the fellowship of believers to bear with one another, forgiving one another and loving one another completely, for it is love which holds all relationships together.
Our contemporary society has completely distorted the true meaning of love, replacing a heartfelt concern and compassion for others with materialistic extravagance and false promises.  Buy her diamonds, she’ll love you forever.  Give the luxury of a new car and he’ll forget all the time you don’t spend together.  This is not what Paul had in mind when he spoke of the binding power love has to unite people.  And, it is certainly not the love Jesus spoke of to his disciples when he said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  
The love shown on the cross, the love shown by Paul as he struggled from town to town, is a love that is both fierce and fearless.  It is a love no money can buy and that no one can give from themselves alone.  It is a love that seeks to lift others from their struggles, a love that seeks to conquer oppression and grief and desperation and despair.  It is a love born of hope, of the knowledge and understanding that there is more to this life than the demands of daily living alone.  It is a love born of the ultimate sacrifice, a price paid by our Creator that can never be paid back in full.  It is the bond that unites us, as fellow children of God, one to another.  “For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God!” Paul writes.  
As believers, we are equal partners in sin and we are equal partners in redemption.  Although we may not always agree on the details, we must stand united in our practice of love.  We must seek to build one another up, not tear one another down.  We must seek to encourage one another, to listen to one another, to console one another and to uphold one another.  We need to love one another as God loved us, and we need to care for one another as Jesus cared for those he ministered to on Earth.
“Bind us together, Lord, bind us together, Lord, bind us together with love.”
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 230: A Community of Life

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All the believers were together and had everything in common.  They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.  Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.  They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.  And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.  Acts 2:44-47
“God recognizes our need for community and desires to meet the need through His church–the body of believers God organized to offer a community of life.”  (from Paul:90 Days on His Journey of Faith, by Beth Moore)

I love going to church on Sunday mornings.  I love gathering with fellow believers and sharing in the experience of worshiping our God together.  I love being challenged through God’s word and the message.  I love that children are allowed to sit on the communion rail during Children’s Time.  It’s a little thing, but it says a lot about our congregation.  And, of course, I love to sing.  Church is a safe haven for me.  I feel the joy of the Lord on Sunday mornings.  Yet, as I was reading through my devotional today, I wondered, “Is our church a community of life?”  In many ways, that answer is yes.  We are a welcoming and loving congregation.  We are a giving congregation.  We are generous with our building.  We seek to draw people into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.  We are open to change.  But when I think about what it means to be a “community of life” through the context of Acts 2, it becomes clear to me that there is still more work to do.
What should a “community of life” look like?  Should it end after worship on Sunday afternoon?  Should it consist only of the occasional mission drives and collections?  Should we gather together in fellowship only on holidays or when the youth are hosting a fundraising dinner?  Should regular church attendance be relegated to two Sundays a month?  And should Bible study be held only once or twice a week?
When I think about a church as a place which offers a “community of life” I think of people being saved, literally.  I picture life rafts being thrown into a raging sea and drowning people being pulled safely to shore.  Offering a “community of life” means meeting people’s needs everyday, however we can. 

It’s people coming together like the early church and giving up what they have accumulated so that others may have what they need.  It’s people engaging with one another regularly beyond the Sunday morning service to grow deeper in their faith and relationship with God.

A “community of life” involves fellowship time together where everyone who enters is welcomed and accepted and valued for who they are.  It is a place where hope is given freely and people are willing to see the potential in every new face seeking the Lord. 

Offering a “community of life” means living in a way that honors life, so that people who are lost and hurting and hopeless will say, “I want to be here.  I need to know this God!”

I LOVE my church.  And, more importantly, God LOVES my church.  He LOVES your church, too.  And he has commissioned us as believers to spread his message of love and hope and forgiveness and grace to those who have not yet heard, those who do not yet know.  And we do that by using our resources as a church, the Body of Christ, to offer our communities a “community of life.”

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 229: 8 Viruses Later…

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Well, almost 3 months, 8 viruses and $150 later I am finally back to writing!!  It’s been a good little break, although I’ve lost my entire readership.  However, I’m determined to get back into the groove and work on doing those things which I feel God has called me to do.

I am currently in the midst of directing our fledgling community theater’s first production which will be held this coming weekend.  As I have never directed a play before, it’s been a really good challenge for me.  Luckily, my father is a 30 year theater director veteran, so I’ve had lots of help!!  I’ve learned a lot about leadership and that sometimes you just have to make a decision and go with it, regardless of its popularity. 🙂  I’ve made mistakes and grown from them and have developed some skills I didn’t even know I had.

I guess this is the process of life itself.  We move forward through experiences and challenges, growing and changing along the way.  We learn about ourselves, and others, and how we fit into this world.  We unlock hidden potential and see the gifts God has placed within us to further advance his kingdom.  We get frustrated and hurt, make mistakes (sometimes colossal) and grow in maturity through it all.  We “fix our eyes on the prize for which God called us heavenward through Christ Jesus”, understanding that even though our life has not evolved in the way we imagined or envisioned when we first developed the script, it is a good and faithful production of what God has given us to do.  At the end of the journey the best we can hope to hear is, “Well done, good and faithful servant.  Welcome home!” 

Blessings and Peace,
Sara