Confession 80: Role Playing for Romance?

Chris and I have a new favorite comedy–ABC’s Modern Family. It’s everything we love in a comedy–witty, quirky, sarcastic, and completely relate-able. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve looked at each other while watching the show and given each other the, “That’s so you!” look. It’s one of the few shows out there that actually makes me laugh out loud.

That said, the episode last night got me thinking a bit about the nature of romance. In the episode, one of the couples decided to “spice up” their celebration of Valentine’s Day by doing a bit of role playing. The wife had her husband meet her at the bar of a hotel and “pick her up”. The results were both disastrous and hilarious, which is why we watch the show, but it got me thinking about the ways in which people try to rekindle the romance in their relationships. Many relationship “experts” advocate the idea of couple’s engaging in role play to heighten the romance in their relationships. But, I have to confess, I don’t quite get it. If I wanted to be with someone else, then I would have married someone else. I love my husband and I can’t think of anything more romantic that being with him.

This is the man who still finds me attractive even though I’ve gained an extra 15 or so pounds. The man who walks past me in a room and brushes my arm, hand or back. The man who comes up behind me and gives me a hug for no reason at all while I’m doing dishes or pondering something in the kitchen. The man who tells our sons every day that he loves them. The man who spends his day off doing laundry–even folding it and putting it away! The man who sends me an e-mail saying, “I’m not sure I’ll be home for dinner but there’s a pot of chili on the stove for you and the boys.” The man who checks in with me every day to see how things are going and eats burritos or stir-fry at least once a week because those are the only two meals I really cook. The man who lets me fall asleep on the couch and then gently wakes me up for bed after cleaning up the kitchen, feeding the animals, and letting the dogs out. The man who finishes projects that I start and laughingly deals with “fine messes” I tend to make (like getting my car stuck in the snow in our front yard).

This is the man who watches Grey’s Anatomy with me because he knows I love it and who takes me to see the Twilight movies even after being told by colleagues that, “As the spiritual head of the household you should not allow your wife to watch those movies or read those books.” The man who laughs at statements like that and who treats me as a partner, an equal, an intelligent human being capable of making her own decisions about what she reads and watches.

This is the man I can trust to be completely honest with me, even if he has to tell me something I don’t really want to hear. The man who encourages me when I’m losing confidence in myself, who supports me in every decision I make, and who believes in me more than I believe in myself. This is the man who has voluntarily committed to spending the rest of his life with me, as big of a mess as I am, and raising our two boys in love and in Christ. The man who tries to follow God’s will in everything that he does and puts his family first, below God.

What can be more romantic than being with your true love–the person you are building a life with? No, I’m afraid I don’t get role playing. I think my hubby’s pretty amazing just the way he is!

Blessings and Peace,