The more I read about Susanna Wesley, the more I realize what an astoundingly brilliant mother she was.  I mean, she did raise up John and Charles Wesley, the founder of Methodism and a prolific hymn writer, respectively.  As the mother of about 100 kids (okay, 19), Susanna Wesley had to be organized and efficient, making the most of both time and resources. 

According to reports, each of Susanna’s children got to spend one hour alone with her per week, engaging in whatever activity they so chose.  When Susanna Wesley needed some quiet time she would sit down in a chair and throw her apron up over her head.  When the kids saw Mama hiding behind her own apron, they knew to leave well enough alone!! 🙂

I recently came across Susanna Wesley’s rules for raising children.  Though written some 300 years ago, these rules are completely relevant for raising children today.  As parents, it is important that we actually engage in parenting, and Susanna Wesley did this phenomenally.  So, I’m taking these rules to heart.  Let me know what you think!!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Susanna Wesley’s Rules for Raising Children

1. Allow no eating between meals. (Working on this.  It does make dinner a more pleasant experience!)

2. Put all children in bed by eight o’clock. (We try to stick to this.  We need some child-free time to restore our sanity!!)

3. Require them to take medicine without complaining.  (My boys really like taking medicine.  I’m a bit concerned.)

4. Subdue self-will in a child and thus work together with God to save his soul.  (This is where I need Susanna Wesley to come over for coffee and give me a few tips!!  It’s hard to fight that battle day in and day out with stubborn children!)

5. Teach one to pray as soon as he can speak.  (We do this before meals and at bedtime.  There is nothing sweeter than sitting and listening to your children praying.  I guess God must feel the same way! :-))

6. Require all to be still during family worship.  (We use the nursery every Sunday.  And yet, I wonder, is that the best option?  Does anyone practice a family worship time?  What does that look like in your house?)

7. Give them nothing that they cry for and only that which they ask for politely.  (My youngest daily tests me on this!!)

8. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is first confessed and repented of.  (Absolutely brilliant and gives your children a first-hand experience of grace.

9. Never allow a sinful act to go unpunished. (I’m guessing there’s a difference between a fault and a sinful act.)

10. Never punish a child twice for a single offense.  

11. Commend and reward good behavior.  (This is so basic, but I forget it all the time.  I sometimes give more notice to the negative behavior rather than the good.)

12. Any attempt to please, even if poorly performed, should be commended.

13. Preserve property rights, even in the smallest matters.  (“Garrett, that’s Stephen’s Mater.  Give it back to him, please.”

14. Strictly preserve all promises.  (If you don’t, they’ll remind you!!)

15. Require no daughter to work before she can read well.

16. Teach children to fear the rod.  (I think I need to invest in one of those!! :-))

When I was a child, I was terribly afraid of the dark.  I had, and have, a vivid imagination which would produce very real, very terrifying dreams while I slept, usually involving the “big, bad wolf”.  I would wake from my nightmares, heart pounding, ears on point, looking around at all of the objects in my room to make sure all was as it was supposed to be. 

Some nights I would flee from my bed and take shelter in between my parents as they slept.  Other times, my fear would overtake all reason and, sure that some danger lurked within our house, I could not bring myself to step foot out of my bed.  On those occasions, I found myself gazing at the dark sky out my bedroom window waiting for the first glimmer of light that signifies a new day.  I waited for that moment when the blackness would give way to inky blue.  Only then would my heart slow, my body relax, and I could once more rest easily.

Although I have grown out of my childhood fears, there are still moments in my life where I find myself waiting for that first glimpse of morning light.  We all face moments of darkness in our lives, whether it be the loss of a loved one, sickness, unemployment, broken relationships, big decisions or major transitions. Our fear, our sadness, our indecisiveness can all work to paralyze us.  We find ourselves watching for the morning light, because that first glimmer of a new day is our hope for tomorrow. 

My husband is doing a book club series for the summer, and this week’s selection is Donald Miller’s A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. In this book, author Donald Miller explores the idea that the qualities which make a good story are the same qualities that come together to make a good life.

Life is lived in story, and as Christians, we are called to live a better story.  Donald Miller states that, “A story is based on what people think is important, so when we live a story, we are telling people around us what we think is important.”

Which begs the question….

When you look at your life, what do you see?  Would it make an interesting story?  Would it make a good story?  Is it a story you would want to tell?  Is it a story you would want others to tell?

One of the things that Miller comes back to over and over in his book is that story is about character transformation, and if our lives are a story, then the point of our lives is the journey we take to transformation.  And, we reach that transformation through a series of “inciting” incidents.  “The inciting incident is how you get (characters) to do something. It’s the doorway through which they can’t return, you know. The story takes care of the rest.”

God uses “inciting” incidents in our lives to prompt us to make the changes we need to make in order to live a better story.  These incidents could include the loss of a relationship, loss of a job, gaining of a job, birth of a child, unexpected illness or injury, or, in Miller’s case, the opportunity to turn his life into a screenplay.

God used an inciting incident in Paul’s life as he walked the road to Damascus.  Confident in his role as persecutor of Christians, Paul (then Saul) was brought to his knees by Christ himself and chose, in that moment, to be transformed and to live a better story.

Life is more than schedules, and work, and the day to day grind.  Life is about living a better story.  It is about allowing ourselves to be transformed by our Creator so that we may go out into the world and make a difference, regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in.  Look at Job, Miller states.  “Job found contentment and even joy, outside the context of comfort, health or stability. He understood the story was not about him, and he cared more about the story then he did about himself.”

It is not an accident then that Jesus spent most of his time teaching through story.  Mark 4:33 states that…

As it is Father’s Day, I thought I’d write a bit about my Dad.  My Dad has been a teacher for the past 30 + years.  He “retired” seven years ago but has two part-time teaching jobs which keep him busy everyday.  My Dad has been one of the greatest influences in my life, and I wanted to share with him (and you) some of the most important lessons this perennial teacher has taught me over the years.

Lesson One: The Importance of Faith
I was raised in the church.  From the beginning, church was a priority.  If the doors were open, we were there, actively involved in kids groups, choir, missions, bells, etc…  But more than that, it was important to both of my parents that not only were we in church, but that we “got” church.  In our house, we talked about our faith constantly.  After church on Sundays, my dad would ask us what we learned.  It wasn’t a quiz, it was a true discussion.  We’d share, then we’d talk and reflect on what was shared as a family.  My dad encouraged us to go deeper into our faith, to ask tough questions and to ponder the answers.  Even now our conversations are full of biblical study as we continue to question and ponder the mysteries of faith.  If I have a Bible question, I call my dad.  He gets his Bible out and we go through it together, figuring out the answers together.

Lesson Two: It’ll be Okay
Born out of faith, this expression is one of my father’s personal mantras.  Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I call Dad and he assures me with full confidence that, “It’ll be okay.”   And when he says it, I believe him.  My Dad gives me peace of mind and heart, while he takes all of my worries and anxieties upon himself.  He works through my problems, seeks expert advice, then comes back to me with possible solutions for the problem at hand.  No matter how old I get, I know that I will always be my Daddy’s little girl and that, until he takes his last breath, he will be working in my life and the lives of my children trying to “make it okay”.

Lesson Three: Laughter Cures All
In our house, there is laughter.  It doesn’t matter how serious the circumstance, how formal the occasion, we laugh.  My Dad, with his goofy sense of humor, has taught me that you can, and should, laugh at yourself on a daily basis.  And, if I can’t laugh at myself, he will do it for me!! 🙂  Laughter relieves tension, makes impossible situations seem manageable, and keeps you from taking yourself too seriously.  When my sister was younger, she had a lisp.  And, although my parents got her into speech therapy, it didn’t stop us laughing about it.  My Dad and I used to ask her to say my name, which has several “s”‘s in it.  When she’d lisp her way through it, we would all be rolling on the floor.  Mean?  Maybe.  But was my sister embarrassed about her lisp?  No way!  No one could give her more trouble about it than us! 🙂 Laughter cures all.

Lesson Four: Work or Play, Give Your Best Each Day
My Dad’s philosophy on life is to take it by the horns and go.  Work as hard as you play and play as hard as you work.  My Dad’s philosophy on life is that it’s a gift which should be used.  When my Dad works, he gives all of himself.  He builds relationships with his students that last throughout the years.  Students from 25 years ago proudly call him friend.  Growing up, Dad lived at the school.  He taught high school English, History, Speech, Psychology.  He directed the school plays for fifteen years, announced the high school football games for 20, kept stats at the basketball games, coached the golf team to several state placements,  and ran the speech/debate program.  If his students were in the building, he was there.  And, more often than not, so were my sister and I.  The high school was a second home to us, which probably explains why my sister and I love working with teenagers today.

Yet, not only does Dad give 110% at work, he also gives 110% at play.  Growing up, Dad would play golf every day in the summer leaving my sister and I at the pool.  We spent our time splashing around in the water and ordering frozen Snickers bars, cheeseburgers and Shirley Temple’s from the clubhouse bar.  We’d slide back home minutes before Mom got there and scramble to do at least one of the chores she’d left for us that day!  Each summer would also bring a road trip with picnics and museum tours and hours spent scouring old Civil War battlefields.  We got up early and stayed up late, filling each day with memories.

Lesson Five: Love Each Day
Now that I have children of my own, my Dad is helping me to appreciate the beauty of each day.  One of his best and most common pieces of advice is, “Just enjoy it.  You’re going to miss these days when they’re gone.”  And although toddlers are a challenge, there’s a part of me that knows he’s right.  Because, Dad does know best.

I love you, Dad!!
Sara

I am going to make it a productive session, however.  I’m beginning the process of writing a devotional book using the themes in some of my blog posts.  I printed all of them off, and I have to say it’s kind of cool to be holding a body of work I’ve actually written.  I don’t know that anything will come of it, but writing is a dream I’ve always had and I figure there’s no time like the present! 🙂 

So, what’s your weekend look like?

Blessings and Peace,
Sara