Confession 267: Death of a Supermom

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I need not worry overmuch about the distortions of this world.  I do need to be aware that God is here and allow Him through me to reveal Himself to His world.  Psalm 11

It’s been awhile since I have put fingers to keypad.  Like many women, I have overextended myself in the realm of my daily life.  I bought into the philosophy that as a contemporary American woman I can do it all.  But the truth is, that is one of the greatest fallacies ever to be presented.  We can’t do it all, no one can.  And when we try, the things we love most can get lost in the process.

Unfortunately, this is a reality our media does not like to represent.  Instead, our media bombards us with the image of the “Supermom”.  Have you seen the appliance commercials featuring actress and talk show host, Kelly Ripa?  In it, Ripa credits the appliances with helping her to accomplish more in her day, from having the perfect outfit for work, to making a wonderful gourmet dinner for the perfect dinner party, to hosting a fun and fabulous sleepover for her daughter.  At the end of the commercials, Ripa states, “With ______ appliances, now you can be even more amazing!”  We have this notion that the “perfect” woman (Supermom) goes throughout her day with a careless poise, juggling work, kids, spouse and home, happy and content in her ability to accomplish all things.

In reality, there are only so many burners on a stove top.  Something has got to give.

I believe that women should have equal choices and opportunities.  I am a “career woman”.  It’s a choice I’ve made, somewhat out of necessity, but also because it’s what I wanted.  It was a choice that I was able to make.  Other women make the choice to support their families within the home.  That is a choice I deeply admire and respect.  And if I’m being honest, it’s a choice that at times I envy.

Choices are important.  And I have to stress the word choice.  You see, we CANNOT do it all, no matter what the appliance commercials try to tell us!!  We have to make choices in our everyday lives about what is important, what is vital, what God is calling us to do with our day.  God not only has a purpose for our lives, He has a purpose for each day we awake and choose to get out of bed.  If we look for it, we can find a moment, even in the busiest, messiest days, where we can see the hand of God at work.  But in order to see that, we have to give up the “Supermom” myth.

We do not honor God when we aspire to do it all.  In fact, when we claim to have it all together, to be able to do anything, we are leaving God out of the picture.  Paul tells us that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness.  In fact, Paul goes on to write that he will boast with joy about his weaknesses so that God’s power may be even more obvious to those around him. (2 Corinthians 12:9)  When we let go of our pride and say, “we can’t”, it gives God the opportunity to jump in and say, “I CAN!”  When we admit that we cannot do it all, then we turn ourselves over to God and to His purposes.  And when we turn ourselves completely over to God, then we can be witnesses for the world of God’s unfailing power and love.

So, farewell “Supermom”!  I can’t do it all.  But I am determined to let God accomplish His plans through me.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 266: Children of Babylon

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After being absentee awhile, I’ve come back online with a new series on Christian parenting entitled, “Children of Babylon”.  Over the next several weeks, I want to explore how it is we, as Christians, tackle all of the negativity our culture throws at our children.  I want to think about how it is, in the midst of this contemporary “Babylon”, we can raise children of God.  I will have several guest authors sharing their thoughts.  I would love to engage in this conversation with you, so let me know what you think!

Blessings and Peace, 
Sara



After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.”
Nehemiah 4:14
I’ve been sitting on this post for awhile now, trying to gather my thoughts and be clear on what I want to say.  I’ve always considered myself to be a fairly liberal and progressive person.  I tend to vote mostly Democrat, support same-sex unions, affirmative action, easier immigration laws and healthcare reform.  I try to be open minded about issues and look at both perspectives.  Yet lately, as I look around at our self-indulgent, materialistic, violence obsessed and hyper sexualized culture, I have to wonder if progressiveism hasn’t gone too far.  Our media sells us a surplus of violence, greed, consumption, over-indulgence and sex.  Unfortunately, we are buying it in bulk and our children are paying the price.
Let me give you a few statistics.  Granted, numbers aren’t everything, but I think these numbers warrant some consideration.
1.   Self-esteem of the average American girl peaks at the age of 9 and then plummets.
2.   81% of 10 year old girls are afraid of being fat.
3.   1 out of 4 college age women have an eating disorder.
4.   A girl is bullied every 7 minutes.
5.   1 in 3 teens is a victim of dating violence, with young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experiencing the highest rate of partner abuse.
6.   57% of rock music videos portray women as a sex object, a victim, or unintelligent.
7.   46% of U.S. high school students have engaged in sexual activity.
8.   By age 18, a U.S. youth will have seen 16,000 simulated murders and 200,000 acts of violence.
9.   Children younger than 8 “cannot uniformly discriminate between real life and fantasy/entertainment… They quickly learn that violence is an acceptable solution to resolving even complex problems, particularly if the aggressor is the hero.” American Academy of Pediatrics
10. Boys are 30% more likely than girls to flunk or drop out of school.
11. Boys are 15 times more likely than girls to abuse drugs and alcohol and twice as likely to die in a car accident.
 (sources: www.pbs.org; www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov; www.confidencecoalition.org; www.msrepresentation.org)
The prophet Nehemiah urged the Israelites to fight for their children.  In America, we are destroying them.  And I am a culprit of this. 
Truth be told, I let my boys watch too much T.V.  They watch between 30-60 minutes in the morning, another 30-60 minutes after school and then more minutes (hours) than I care to admit on the weekends.  I justify it by telling myself that it’s all age appropriate programming.  It’s Disney channel or Nick Jr.  But even the shows on Disney and Nick Jr. can have some very negative messages.  And then there’s the onslaught of advertising they’re exposed to.  They also spend 30-45 minutes each day playing stupid games on my tablet while I disengage with them, occupying myself with the laptop or household chores.  Not that chores are bad, but when I let my kids sit zombie like in front of a screen while I do them, it sends the wrong message.
I’m also an absolute hypocrite in my own choice of programming.  I love night-time soaps.  My top three shows are Revenge, Nashville and Scandal.  Of course I never watch them until after the kids are in bed.  And, I’m fully aware that the actions taken by the characters are not actions to emulate in my own life.  I’m intelligent enough to separate reality from fantasy.  However, by watching these shows I’m telling media advertisers that I’m okay with the immorality and promiscuity presented in such programs.  I’m supporting a fundamental set of beliefs that I do not agree with.  And I do it because “it’s entertaining”.
Somewhere along the line, I’ve stopped fighting for my own family.  I’ve bought into the lie that “it’s just T.V.”, or “it’s just music”, or “it’s just…whatever…”  I watched T.V. and I turned out fine, right?  But I wasn’t exposed to as much through television as my children. 
As a woman, as a mother—as a Christian woman and mother—I need to do better.  I need to fight for my children.  I need to do the hard work of educating them to think critically about what they watch instead of just letting them absorb it in.  I need to encourage their creativity by pushing them to play, to read, to draw, to sing…  I need to actively work in teaching them about our faith and to help them come to know the God I love and want them to be in relationship with.  I need to help them become confident and secure in themselves, yet empathetic and kind and generous as well.  And I can’t do that when I (or they) are sitting in front of a T.V. or computer sucking in all of the negative images and ideas the media puts out.
I can’t change our contemporary culture, much as I wish I could.  But I can make some changes in my own life.  I can curb the time we spend in front of the T.V.  I can take my “guilty pleasure” shows out of the rotation for myself.  I can put aside e-mail, facebook, blogging, Smurfs and crosswords during family time and actually engage with my children.  I can reinstitute our nightly devotional time with the kids.  I can actually sit and watch television with my kids and talk to them about what is going on in their programs.  I can join forces with other moms who want more for their children than what our culture is offering, supporting and encouraging one another down the rocky road of parenting. 
Parenting is hard, and it’s scary.  Like the Israelites rebuilding Jerusalem, I look around at our world and think, “Man, how are we ever going to fix this?”  But, like Nehemiah, I stubbornly push through laying one brick at a time.  With a lot of hard work, and God’s ever present help, we’ll get the task done.
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 265: A Friday Reflection

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Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
Psalm 90:14
 

This morning was one of those mornings where I profoundly felt the limitations of time and space.  You know, when you have about 1,000 things you’d like to accomplish within the time frame of about 60 seconds.  My mind was running away, and yet not even Einstein could have shrunk the space/time dimensions that would allow my physical being to keep up.  Slamming the skillet on the stove to make my special fat burning pancake, I started in on a self-pitying rant to God. 
“I’m tired of doing the same thing every morning ,” I complained, turning toward the coffee pot.  “I have to make breakfast, make G’s lunch, get….”
And that’s as far as God let me get before he broke into my thoughts.  Apparently, the Almighty One who holds heaven and earth together in his hands did not have time or patience for self-indulgent whining this morning.  I don’t blame Him.
Very clearly and succinctly I heard Him say to my heart, “You need to be grateful that you are able to get up and do the same thing day in and day out.  All of the routines in your life are a gift.  There are people getting up this morning whose lives have been torn apart, people who would give anything to be able to get out of bed and make breakfast for their family.  Get over yourself and get to work.  We’ve got stuff to do!!”
The message hit home.  God was right, He always is.  I need to be grateful for the ordinary days and treasure each and every one of them that I have.
A little later, as I watched my oldest climb up the steps (two at a time) to the “big school”, I was filled with gratitude for the beautiful and precious gift that is this sweet boy.  I prayed to God again, not complaining, but thanking him for my sweet little boy.  I prayed that God would help me work to preserve his innocence, that he would keep his warm and caring heart even into adolescence and beyond.
Then, I thought of the other one.  My wild warrior child sitting at home eating, most likely, his 3rd Popsicle of the morning before Daddy awakes.  I gave thanks to God for this little indomitable spirit.  I prayed that as he grows older, God would give him something noble to fight for.
And then I thought of my husband, still asleep in bed.  I gave God thanks for him—for the ways in which he works to support our family that largely go unnoticed and unrecognized by me.  I so respect and admire the wonderful pastor that he is and I prayed for his ministry and that I may be a true helpmate to him.
When I truly stop and consider my life, I realize that I can be nothing but grateful.  And I am grateful that I am a child of the One God who, despite his vastness and his holiness chooses to enter into my daily life and continues to work in me.
Blessings and Peace,
Sara
 

Confession 264: God Was Here

 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 
Matthew 5:16

New Year–I love the sound of that, don’t you?  A New Year…365 days stretching out before us….blank open spaces waiting to be filled.  New Year is a time for possibility.  New Year is a time for dreams.  New Year brings hope–hope for new directions, hope for positive changes, hope that we can live into the person we so desire to be.  New Year….

When I think about what I hope to accomplish in this New Year, there are some very definitive goals that I have in mind.  However, I often find that God has a way of rearranging the goals that I make.  As my family and I were watching the New Year’s Eve festivities on TV, there was a countdown of the top musical performances of 2012.  One of the performances was a song sung by Beyonce at a UN function.  The song was titled, “I Was Here”.  I’m including a link to the performance if you’d like to see it.  It was very moving.

As I watched the performance, I found myself thinking, this is what I want to do in my life.  I want to live my life in a way that people know I was here.  As I pondered on that the next couple of days, however, I found myself thinking beyond I was here.  As I look around our messy, broken, hurting world the thing that I really want to do is to live in a way that shows not that I was here, but that God IS here!!

This New Year, I want to bring hope to those who are hopeless, but not from me, from the One who restores all hope.  This New Year, I want to show love to others–not my frail, wavering, dependent love, but the Love that came into the world to Redeem.  This New Year, I want to focus on letting God’s light shine through me–through my work and my relationships and my activities and my words.

In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter much that I was here, but rather, that I allowed God to be here through me.  I’m excited about the possibilities of this New Year.  I’m excited to see where God may lead.  But most of all, I am grateful that God is willing to let me go with Him.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 263: Emmanuel


The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.  You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy;they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as warriors rejoice when dividing the plunder.  For as in the day of Midian’s defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor.  Every warrior’s boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire.

 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.  Isaiah 9:2-7
I put in my first Christmas CD of the season the cold Monday morning after Thanksgiving.  It was the soundtrack from The Nativity Story.  As I listened to the songs about the birth of the Savior, I felt something awakening in me once more, blossoming from deep within my soul.  It was the hope, the anticipation, the expectation that this Christmas season brings.  
Christmas reminds me that regardless of the awful things happening around the world, in spite of the havoc human beings wreck, no matter the struggles I or loved ones have faced this year—Emmanuel is here.  God is with us.  And no matter the darkness in which we walk, he is bringing with him the light that cannot be extinguished.
Emmanuel is here.  New life has come.  The things of this world that bind us, that worry us, that consume us, that enslave us have been smashed to pieces.  We don’t have to look for solace or help in food, in drink, in shopping or the Internet.  We don’t have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders or our backs.  God is with us, and in his love and in his mercy he has brought freedom for our souls.
Emmanuel is here.  A new kingdom has come.  This kingdom cannot be toppled by any human force or act of nature.  God is with us.  God dwells among us.  God dwells within us.  He will never leave us, nor will he forsake us.
Emmanuel is here.  Do you feel him?  Do you sense his wonderful presence?  Is there hope and anticipation and expectation blooming in your soul?  
If so, will you share that with others this season?  Will you remind those walking in the darkness of poverty, of grief, of sickness that God is with them?  Will you share the burdens of those who are hungry, lonely, or worried?  Will you seek to bring freedom to those who are oppressed?  Will you show those around you that a new kingdom has come—a kingdom that cannot be boxed and wrapped and placed beneath a tree?
Emmanuel is here.  Where are you?
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 262: Peace on Earth

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“God is not dead, nor does he sleep.  The wrong shall fail, the right prevail with peace on earth, good will to men”
“I Heard the Bells On Christmas Day”

I dropped my six year old son off at school this morning amidst a plethora of police and sheriff’s cars.  There was a highway patrol car parked on each corner of the school lot.  An unsubstantiated threat had been made against the school, and the administration wanted to reassure parents with extra law enforcement presence.  As I said I love you and watched my son walk inside, the above song played in my van.  My eyes filled with tears at the great irony of it all.

Like many parents in our small Midwestern community, Chris and I talked long into the night about sending our son to school today.  Many parents did not, and I completely understand and support that decision.  But as I prayed in bed last night, I felt God asking me, “Do you trust me?”  And my heart had to respond, in the midst of all the heartache in the world, “Yes.”
Like many of us across our nation, I have been struggling with the seismic rift in our cultural fabric last Friday’s killings wrought.  I was a first year teacher when the Columbine killings took place.  They changed everything.  What happened in Connecticut last Friday will change everything again.  There are so many issues our society must face.  It’s not just about guns, although it is about guns.  It’s not just about mental illness, although it is about mental illness.  It’s not just about school and public safety, although it is about school and public safety.  It’s not just about our changing cultural values, although it is about our changing cultural values.
And then there are the theological questions.  Why did God allow the shooter to get that far?  Why didn’t God protect the innocent?  How can I trust God to protect my children when He didn’t protect the children of the parents in Sandy Hook?  Scholars much more studied than I have attempted to answer such questions over this past week.  I have found little comfort in any of their responses.  And so, ironically enough, I have gone directly to the One I am questioning with my questions and fears.  I believe God is big enough for whatever doubt/disappointment/anger/frustration/confusion we might have.  And here is what I have heard.  It’s not deep, it’s not studied, it might not even be helpful, but it has brought stillness to my soul.
In spite of all the pain, heartache, and tragedy in this world, I trust God.  I don’t understand it all, and I know that my trust and belief will not make me immune to any of it.  Sickness, accidents, acts of evil can break into my life the same as in any other person’s life.  But I trust God.  And I know that He is working in ways I cannot see or comprehend to bring about peace in this world.  And I know that it is my duty, as His child, to work with Him to bring love and healing to a world so broken and in need.  I trust in God, the One who came down to earth in the form of His creation.  I trust in God, the One who sent His Son to die for me, and in so doing sacrificed a part of Himself.  I trust in God, the One who set the stars in the sky and has counted each hair on my head.  I trust in God, the One who loves me beyond any love I can give.  I trust in God.
“God is not dead, nor does He sleep…”  He has sent us the Prince of Peace.  My we seek to offer that gift to those across our world who have lost so much.
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 262: Undone

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But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Matthew 1:20-21
As I’m looking around our house 12 days before Christmas, I realize that nothing is finished.  The tree is up and lit, but only about four ornaments hang from it, haphazardly placed by our boys from early Christmas presents.  Neither of our manger scenes are out, as their respective tables are full of random clutter—a fish tank with no fish, 12 jars of peanut butter that were supposed to be taken to the food pantry last summer, a box of play scripts that won’t be used until February, books that have popped out of my overflowing bookshelves.  There’s a basket full of clean laundry in the middle of the living room floor, as well as a plastic tub that formerly housed Christmas tree lights and which my 4 year old is now using as his personal gymnastics vault. 
Our Advent wreath hangs in the closet as its spot on the dining room table is being occupied by mail and schoolwork.  My Christmas candles are only up because they’ve been sitting in place on the top of the china hutch since last December.  You probably wouldn’t notice them amidst the layer of dust.  The boys’ Christmas tree is sitting on the couch in the living room because I ran out of hangers for their clothes.  And the kitchen has been taken over by grocery bags, newspaper ads, and cups.  The whole house has the appearance of being undone.
And do you know what the remarkable part of it all is?  I don’t care.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d like for our house to not look like a federal disaster area, but I’m perfectly fine with a sparsely ornamented Christmas tree.  I have no intention of making a bunch of Christmas treats that I’m not going to eat.  The kids and I are doing nightly Advent readings without the wreath.  And, Baby Jesus will get to his manger whether the fish tank gets moved or not. 
When you really think about it, having an “undone” Christmas is what the story is all about anyway.  An unmarried couple is having a baby.  Their country is occupied by a hostile foreign force.  The baby arrives far away from home.  There is no mother, sister, aunt, cousin around to help with the birth.  There’s not even a room, just a barn.  And the first people who come to visit are unclean, uncouth sheep herders.  It wasn’t quite the perfect moment we work so hard to make our Christmas celebrations out to be.
We spend so much of our time, energy and money during the month of December trying to get it all just right.  Yet, God the Creator of Heaven and Earth came into a world where nothing was right.  His people were living under the suffocating oppression of the Roman Empire.  His creation was floundering under the devastating power of sin.  The world was a mess.  The world is a mess.  But, God entered into it anyway.  God entered into it because it was a mess, and He remains within it today, working through us (and maybe in spite of us) to set things right.
So, this Christmas, let things come a little undone.  For it is in the places that seem most undone in which God will enter in.
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 260: Best Laid Plans


To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.
Proverbs 16:1 
My husband and I tend to be a little weird about Christmas.  Over the past several years, we have worked to bring more sacred and less commercial into our Christmas celebrations.  We don’t do a lot of retail Christmas shopping.  We don’t put our tree up until Advent officially begins.  We don’t put Baby Jesus in the Creche until Christmas Eve, and the Wisemen start out in another room and don’t reach the manger until Epiphany.  We also do not do Santa with our boys.  I KNOW….we sound like a couple of zealots.  But, it’s how we enjoy the season.  We’re not anti-Christmas, just anti-commercial.
That said, we had to have the “Christmas is not your birthday” talk with our boys last weekend as TV watching was becoming increasingly obnoxious with all of the “I wants” the toy commercials brought about.  We had a good discussion about the meaning of Christmas and decided that anytime anyone in our house had a case of the “I wants”, we would gently remind one another that, “Christmas is not your birthday.”  Note the phrase, in our house.  Apparently, we should have stressed that a bit more as later that same evening when asked at the local Christmas parade by a classmate’s mother if he would be going to see Santa later our oldest replied, “No. Christmas is not my birthday.”  Needless to say, she was a little taken aback.
 
Afterward, over dinner, the boys wanted to know, “Is Santa real?”  Mmmm…. Where to begin?  I fell back on the old tried and true St. Nicholas story.  It was great, until our oldest who never misses anything asks, “Did St. Nicholas die?”  “Yes, honey, St. Nicholas died a long time ago, but people like to remember him by playing Santa Clause.”
Our youngest, who is four, was listening avidly to this entire exchange.  His brown eyes as big as saucers he burst out, “Santa’s DEAD?!”  In my head, I could already hear the angry calls from preschool parents all over town.  I beseechingly looked across at my husband.  HELP!!
My ever-so-rational husband responded, “No.  Santa was invented by a marketing company in the late 1800’s to sell toys.  What?” he asked, catching my look of annoyance.  “It’s true.”
In the meantime, our four year old came to his own conclusion.  “Santa’s in heaven with Jesus, Mommy.  That’s good—hmm, mmh.”  He makes a little “hmm-mmh” noise when he says something he’s really happy about.
In the end, we decided that Santa wasn’t real, St. Nicholas was in heaven with Jesus, people who love them will get them presents, and that they could absolutely, under no circumstances repeat any of that to anyone at school or church under penalty of losing all of their Star Wars toys.
And that was only November 24th.  It could be an interesting month.
Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 260: On Parenting

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Children are a heritage from the Lord,
    offspring a reward from him. 
Psalm 127:4


Lately, my children have been driving me crazy.  They’re loud and demanding and stubborn and messy.  They question everything.  They’re slow to listen, willful and always need to be in my presence.  Sometimes, I am tempted to go and rent a hotel room for the weekend so I can sleep and sit in silence for a bit.

My 4 year old is going through an especially trying stage.  The other day he threw a massive temper tantrum and was sent to time out.  When I went to talk to him about why he was in time out, the response I got was, “It’s none of your business!!”  I fought back the urge to grab him and throttle him, opting instead to walk out of the room and shut the door behind me.  As he was screaming for me to come back, I calmly said through the door, “I’m sorry, sweetie, but you’re not being safe right now.  Mommy will come back in when you show me you can be safe.”  His response–toy cars pelted at the door.  “Ummm….that’s not showing me you can be safe,” I said.  It was a long evening.

Sometimes, as a parent, I just want to throw my hands up in the air and walk away.  There are days when I ask myself, “Whose idea was it to have children in the first place?”  I have a split-second of longing for the pre-children days. Of course, then I remember my good friends who have lost children and I think, “What in the he double hockey sticks is wrong with you?!  How can you take so much for granted?”  And then the guilt sets in.


Compounded with that is the guilt I feel about working full-time.  Part of me longs to be at home working so that I can get more accomplished here.  But, the other part of me wants paid benefits and a regular salary.  We need it, actually.  And, I’m not always good with my children day in and day out, 24 hours a day.  No matter how hard I want to be one of those mother’s who is totally devoted to her children, I’m not sure it’s in my DNA.  
Is there anyone else out there who struggles with this vicious cycle of parenting?  Am I the only one out there who doesn’t dote on and adore my children every moment of the day?  Is it okay to want to run screaming from the house occasionally when my children are at their worst?
At the end of the day, I know my children are a precious gift.  We play and cuddle and laugh and create wonderful moments together.  I am proud of them, mostly, and see these sparks of God’s Spirit within them.  I know they’re good kids, and I know that the tantrums will pass.  As God is ever so faithful to me, so I will be faithful to my children.  I will trust in Him and listen to Him as I continue the journey of parenting.  It won’t be perfect, because I am not perfect.  And, neither are my children. But I am going to hold fast to the knowledge that these children, loud, stubborn, messy, demanding as they are, are truly a heritage from the Lord.  And, my husband and I will do our best to make them a reward for Him.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 257: The Faithful One

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Praise the Lord, all you nations;
    extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us,
    and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.
Psalm 117:1-2 
Over the past couple of months, since school started again, my faithfulness in my daily Bible study time has been fairly sporadic.  Most mornings I rush out the door five or ten minutes late and settle for K-Love playing in the background of my thoughts as I drive to work, instead of spending some quality time in the Word.  The problem with this, for me, is that it is in the Word that I find myself drawing closer and closer to God.  When I am daily devoting myself to time in the Bible, I feel myself in sync with God.  I am more aware of his presence, I am stronger in my faith, I am more secure in my daily walk through life, and I am better equipped to serve others in need.  And, if I’m honest, there’s a part of me that fears God will turn his back on me if I am not continually faithful to him.
So, it surprised me and spoke to me this past week when I saw God’s faithfulness manifested in my life, even when I wasn’t being completely faithful to him.  One day last week, I came to work feeling pretty down.  My heart and mind were heavy with some things that were troubling me.  When I looked in my mailbox, I found a card.  It was a thank you not from my principal.  The note totally lifted me out of my “funk” and my attitude was much more positive throughout the day. It was perfect timing.  Perfect.  God’s timing always is. I saw God working again in my life later that week.  Another little thing occurred that reminded me, again, that God was faithfully looking out for me.  And here’s the kicker–I didn’t do anything to deserve it.

Sometimes I get caught up in the idea of having this reciprocal relationship with God.  I do what God wants, God shows his faithfulness to me.  And yet, that is so contrary to the way God actually works.  God IS the relationship!  God promises his faithfulness and he delivers, not because of anything I do, but because he is God.  God is faithful–period.  And he will be faithful throughout all time, regardless of the faithfulness or unfaithfulness of his children.  There is nothing we can do to earn it.  Conversely, there is nothing we can do to lose it.  If God’s faithfulness depended solely on our ability to remain faithful, we never would have been given the gift of Christ!!

Don’t get me wrong, our faithfulness is important.  We should always be seeking and drawing close to God, through his Word, prayer, worship and service.  The more time we spend with God, the more connected we will be to him and the better able we will be to live out his plans for our lives.  Yet, as humans, there will be times when our faithfulness fails.  But God’s will remain steadfast.  And when we see the steadfast love of this Faithful One, I pray that we will be drawn back to him, safely secure in his love and promise for us.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara