I’ve been thinking about prayer a lot this week. It was a key focus of our Revelation lesson. I don’t know about you, but sometimes my prayer life becomes like a task on my to-do list. I shoot something off in the morning while I’m getting ready for the day to check it off my list and then give a quick “Thanks” at the end of the day. I’m afraid between work, kids, church, dogs and cats, I don’t always take the time to cultivate the relationship that keeps everything I’m juggling up in the air. And, when I’m not truly centered on God, I don’t seem to be centered on anything else.

In Revelation chapters 4 and 5, the throne room of God is described. The floor is made of precious jewels, there are heavenly beings crowned sitting all around. Heavenly creatures proclaim in booming voices the glory of God. It is resplendent. Majestic. Awesome. And those biblical characters who have seen it have fallen at the feet of the one who sits enthroned, surrounded by light that fills the room.

There is a lake, as smooth as glass, in front of the throne of the Most High where all of our iniquities, all of our sins, are thrown away forever. And there are bowls of amber incense sitting on each side of The King. The incense, a fragrant offering of prayer lifted up to the Creator by his created. When we pray, it is into this throne room we enter. And our prayers rise up as incense before God. He keeps them beside him–gifts from his beloved children.

I’m suddenly feeling convicted of all of those morning prayers offered up on the porcelain throne:-) Or the time last week when I prayed that I could actually get the carseat clip hooked to the seat latch. (Although, I have to say, God did answer that prayer!) In a culture where flippancy has become a well-practiced form through Twitter and Facebook, I think we should take more care with our prayers. Not that praying for timeliness in the mad dash to work is bad, but it needs to be countered with some serious down on our knees at the feet of the great I AM time. When we pray, we are standing on holy ground, and if our bodies can’t reflect that, then our spirits should.

Prayer is powerful. I think I could use a dose of that! 🙂

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

I’ve been job hunting recently in lieu of our upcoming move. I have to say, and forgive my lack of eloquence, job hunting SUCKS!! I’m not sure how much more my self-esteem can take!! I don’t know about other states, but the economic crisis is just now hitting the education system here in Missouri. Kansas City laid off over 300 teachers, and other districts in the surrounding area are having to get rid of positions as well. As we’re moving about an hour or so outside of Kansas City, this is not a good sign.

I’ve put in three applications for teaching positions and only had one interview. I’ve contacted principals within a forty mile radius of where we’re moving, only to find that there are just no English positions to be had out there. And, I’m also discovering that I’m not really qualified to do anything else–or so it seems to me. My Master’s degree is in Christian Education which prevents me from doing much other than teaching, but prevents me from getting teaching jobs because school districts would have to pay me more than a new teacher fresh out of undergrad.

God keeps speaking to me about faith through Bible study, friends and family. He must think I have a lot, or else something would have opened up by now. 🙂 It’s so hard to look into the future and see nothing coming together!! It’s not that I think things won’t work out, per se, because I know they will. It’s just the waiting and wondering that makes it hard to breathe sometimes. Jeremiah 29:11 keeps going through my mind–God has a plan and purpose and he will see it through.

God will also forgive me for snapping at my husband, yelling at my kids, and plopping my pretty red-headed with a temper to go with it boy down on the floor to scream for awhile while I went to lay down for a few minutes. 🙂 Luckily, he’s 22 months and won’t remember this incident at all, while I will take it with me to my grave, I am sure.

Anyway, the moral of all this is that, although God has been shutting a lot of doors lately, he will eventually open a window. The question is whether or not I will be able to fit through it!!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

So, I’ve decided that Monday’s are going to be my Beth Moore “Revelation” re-cap days. Not that the rest of you signed up for this study, but it is my blog so you’ll have to bear with me. 🙂 God has been speaking to me so much through this study that I just can’t help but share!! Here are some of the key points from Beth’s discussion on Revelation chapters 2 and 3.

1. God cares about the local church. Whether you worship in a huge mega-church, small-town church, or are building a church-start–God is THERE and he CARES about what’s going on in your congregation. Even if you can’t see him, he is walking through the halls and aisles of your church. So, whatever you’re facing in your congregation, know that God sees it too.

2. The book of Revelation is about conquering. As children of God, we are conquerors. Yet, as Beth said, to be a conqueror, you have to have something to conquer. We all face challenges in life, yet the thing to remember is that we are not bent under those challenges, we are conquerors of them. We stand on our challenges, not under them. As Christians, we are called to overcome.

3. Like the church in Ephesus, we can forsake our first love-the God who created and sustains us. We forsake God by actively sending him away or by passively letting him slip away. The latter really convicted me!! Busy Mom syndrome hit anyone else recently? Loving God should be our first priority (see Mark 12:28-30). It is only in loving God that we are capable of loving others.

4. The antithesis of forsaking is forgiving. The same root word is used in each. In order to forgive, we have to send away what we are holding onto into the hands of God. And remember, God’s hands are both affectionate and avenging. Also, God does not just love, HE IS LOVE!! So when we love, we are closer to God. If we truly love God, who is love, we HAVE TO love others. I’ve blogged about the power of forgiveness in my own life recently, and I can tell you, it is truly a gift of God. Beth stated, “You will either hang onto unforgiveness or to your first love, but you cannot hang onto both.” We have to let go.

5. Finally, Christ called the church at Ephesus to do three things: remember, repent and return. Remember your calling, repent of your sins, and return to those first things.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

I have a wonderful devotional book my mom gave me entitled, 10 Minute Time Outs for Moms, by Grace Fox. I cannot tell you how many times God has given me a Word through this book! This morning was no exception.

Over the past few weeks, since Chris and I were told we were being reappointed, our life has been less than stable. The most difficult part for me has been resigning my teaching position at a school I dearly love. This school has been my community for the past three years. I have built deep relationships with students and teachers, I have grown as a professional, and I have loved every minute (almost) of what I’ve done. Not only am I giving up a good job, which comes with the territory of being a United Methodist pastor’s wife, but I’m struggling to find a new job in an educational field that is just now feeling the full brunt of the economic down-turn. Our new home is about 45 minutes outside of Kansas City, where teachers are being laid-off left and right. People who have teaching positions are holding onto them and schools with open positions are looking for candidates who don’t cost a lot–not veteran teachers with graduate degrees.

I’ve spent the past few weeks spending hours online frantically looking for a position. I had an interview in the town we will be moving to and was feeling pretty hopeful. It was out of my content area, but nothing I couldn’t do. The high school in our new town is about two blocks from our parsonage, so I thought God was surely working everything out beautifully. That is, until I got an e-mail that thanked me for applying but told me they’d hired someone else. I think my heart fell to my feet at that moment. Not only did I discover I did not get the job, but that they’d had over 40 applicants for this one position! I can’t repeat the exact words that went through my head at that moment, but they definitely involved lots of variations of crap! I had one other option that didn’t pan out and all of a sudden I felt myself veering down that path of hopelessness. My husband and I asked each other: “What are we going to do?” “How are we going to live?” “God, what are you doing? Can’t you just make this work?”

And in the midst of that, this is what I heard…

“I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

“I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10

“Because of your great love we are not consumed, for Your compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Your faithfulness is great.” Lamentations 3:22-23

“Those who trust the Lord will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before them, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” Isaiah 55:12

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” Psalm 46:1-3

I hope these verses bring you as much peace of mind as they have me. God is immovable and steadfast, no matter how unstable and changing our lives can be.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Last night was week two of the Beth Moore Revelation lecture series. Needless to say, the woman did not disappoint. We discussed how to live lives that invite revelation from God, how that we have to be able to change our conceptions of Jesus in order for him to be revealed to us, and how God can be transfigured before us. One of our discussions centered around a statement Beth made regarding living lives that invite revelation.

Beth reminded us that as Christians, we have God dwelling within us. God is in our breath, our blood, our bones. As Christians we are, as Beth stated, “flesh of Christ’s flesh and bone of Christ’s bone.” In that sense, as believers, we are all related. We are true companions together with Christ. Beth’s phrase was that we are “sisters together with locked arms”. As Christians, we should be united, one body, not divided by differences in worship style, baptismal beliefs, religio-political tendencies, or petty squabbles about who should bring what casserole to church supper. We should be a force united!

The picture that immediately came to my mind when Beth was talking about sisters with locked arms was the early suffragettes, standing together in front of the White House, arms locked in solidarity with their “Votes for Women” sashes and picket signs. We have a proud tradition of standing in solidarity with one another in the U.S. Look at the Civil Rights movement, the early labor unions, the anti-war demonstrations. Each of these movements brought Americans from all different walks of life together to join arms and fight for the rights of others. And each time, in each instance, they won.

What is most interesting to me is that, in this country that has been born on the backs of people coming together for a righteous cause, we, as Christians, do not band together in solidarity to fight for our cause. We do not lock arms together to fight for the Kingdom of God, we lock arms against each other to fight about infant vs. adult baptism. We allow the Fred Phelps’ of the world to form picket lines at the funerals of soldiers yelling and chanting all sorts of unholy things. We allow self-righteous men to promise people healing of anything and everything if they make a sizable donation to their “ministry”. We complain to one another when the media gives a negative portrayal of Christians, when the government passes more legislation that makes “under God” a politically charged phrase, when prayer ceases to be a privilege at public functions.

I wonder what changes could come if we would truly join arms with one another and fight for Christ in this nation and this world. I’m not saying we should storm the steps of the Capitol demanding the Ten Commandments be posted in every school across the country. I don’t think that truly makes a difference in anyone’s faith. But what about fighting for causes of justice, and being unified about it? Why does Bono do a better job campaigning to end poverty than we do? And why are we not fighting to change our image for the better? Instead of separate denominational video commercials, how about an inter-denominational video that promotes and supports the diversity of Christianity? Imagine people of all different backgrounds and walks of life–a wizened older man, a young woman with a nose ring, a tattooed biker, a college basketball player, a doctor, a sanitation worker–coming onto the screen in your living room and simply saying, “I am a Christian.”

One of the things I’ve truly enjoyed about becoming part of the pastor’s wife blogosphere is seeing so many wonderful ladies from all sorts of religious backgrounds living their lives and facing the same challenges anyone else might face. I see so much more in common than I see differences, and I think there is such a power in that commonality, especially the commonality of our love and devotion to Jesus Christ. Just something to think about on a Monday morning. 🙂

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

I’ve been listening to Caedmon’s Call’s “Shifting Sand” lately. I sort of feel like that’s where I’m living right now. I’m posting a link to a YouTube video of it. Faith is hard sometimes. Thank God for grace!!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju3Absdz3Hg

I just started a new Beth Moore lecture series on the book of Revelation. I was a little hesitant. I mean, Beth Moore and Revelation? Really? Actually, most of my hesitation revolves around the fact that the book of Revelation has always freaked me out a bit. Growing up, Sunday school teachers always talked about Revelation in regard to “the end times” and all of the horrible things that were going to happen before Christ’s Second Coming. It was more a scare tactic than an in-depth study. But, I decided that if God had placed Revelation on the hearts of others in the congregation, then God must be wanting to say something.

I was pleasantly surprised by the first session. I learned that the word Apocolypse actually translates to an unveiling or a disclosure. How could I have missed that in two years of seminary? Revelation is a new revealing of Jesus Christ to us through the apostle John. It is communicated through figurative language so that each generation may find their own time in the reading. (The aforementioned comment was actually from our facilitator Karen, but I thought it was brilliant.)

Throughout the ten week study, Beth Moore challenges you each week to pray and seek a new revelation of God in your life. I must confess that asking God for a revelation makes my stomach begin to squirm in anxiety. It’s been my experience that if you ask God to reveal himself, he will, and you’d better be ready for anything! I’m always afraid that God is going to pull me into some sort of life-altering decision, upset the careful balance I’ve worked so hard to create, and send me scrambling for a foothold which he always provides, but not until after I’ve fallen for a bit. But I’m going to do it, because I feel like God has some things he wants to tell me. And really, I want to hear them.

The other challenge Beth presented to us was to give up something that has been holding us back for the ten weeks of our study. We read from Revelation 1:4-5 in which Christ is described as the one who loves us, has freed us, and has made us to be a royal priesthood. She asked us to imagine a life free from whatever binds us, whether it be fear, anger, compulsion, bitterness, etc… and to put it down for just ten weeks throughout the course of the study. I’ve been pondering this for a bit, and I’m not sure what I need to put down. I think, as always, it’s the need to have things worked out. It all goes back to the need for THE PLAN. There are a lot of things up in the air now for me, and I need to just let go and be at peace with that. God will work it out in his way and time.

I also need to let go of emotional eating. It’s become a bad coping mechanism. When my kids are driving me crazy, I need to forgo the ice cream and instead, allow myself five minutes of quiet to re-center. Instead of a big, greasy, cheesy pizza at the end of a long week, I can take my kids on a walk or to a park, or sit outside on the back porch after the kids are in bed and have a glass of wine with my husband. I need to let my body be and do what God designed it to do. Easier said than done! 🙂

So this is my journey the next ten weeks. I’m praying it will be a productive one and one that allows me to grow closer to God. I would encourage you to pray for revelations these next ten weeks as well, then let me know what happens. I love seeing all of the amazing things God can do!!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

One of the tenants of being a United Methodist pastor’s wife is that you have to get used to moving. The United Methodists believe in an itinerant system of pastoring, meaning you’re not going to stay at one church your entire career. The thought is that the church needs to be bigger than the pastor, the focus remaining on God and not the pastor. Therefore, we move, sometimes a lot.

I’m actually really excited about this move. We’re going to a congregation that has a reputation of being very loving and progressive. We’ve already met with part of the congregation and they seem genuinely glad that we’re going to be there. The town is very small, about 1800 people, but it’s about 45 minutes from a major city. So, I’m excited about that. Also, it’s 30 minutes from the town I grew up in, which is a big bonus, since my parents still live there! 🙂

Of course, with every move there is some sadness and trepidation as well. We’re going to have to say goodbye to some dear friends and I’m going to have to give up my job which I love with a passion. We’re going to have to find new childcare and preschool, doctors and hair stylists (okay, maybe not a big deal for everyone else, but a huge deal for me!) I’ve learned to just trust in God that it will all come together. The first priority for me, obviously, is to find gainful employment. Unfortunately, this is not really the year to be looking for a teaching position. However, I believe that God’s got it covered. He’s just going to make me stand on edge for a little while before it all works out! 🙂 Since the boys are on my health insurance plan, I can’t say that I’m in a state of serene submission 🙂 Especially since we were told yesterday that my oldest is still having eye issues.

At his final post-op eye exam the doctor discovered some scar tissue building in one of his eyes. He told us that he usually sees this in patients with joint problems so we’re being referred to a pediatric rheumetoid specialist who will then refer us to a pediatric specialist who can treat the scar tissue issue. Aaargh! Money, money, money. Luckily, by the time we’re actually able to see these two specialists we should have the original eye surgery paid off!! I would be lying if I said there isn’t a part of me that is afraid the rheumetoid specialist is going to discover some weird genetic disease, but even if that’s the case, I have to trust that (again) God’s got it covered.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

A dear friend of mine who is wonderfully astute and gifted at spiritual discernment gave me something to ponder the other day. We met for a three hour lunch; to catch up, console, commiserate, encourage, laugh, support and, sorry to say, gossip. In the course of the conversation, we were talking about faith and what it takes to build and grow true faith in God. As we were talking, Amy stopped and said, “You know, it’s really easy to talk about faith when you’re strapped into a safety harness.” How brilliantly true and convicting is that?!

So many of us get caught up in THE PLAN for our lives. We spend hours, days, years designing and cultivating THE PLAN. As we reach each new step in THE PLAN, we add new goals, ambitions, dreams. We like THE PLAN. It’s safe, it’s familiar, it’s achievable. Yet, one of the problems with THE PLAN is that sometimes we inadvertently shut God out. THE PLAN becomes our safety harness so that when God starts creating some turbulence in our lives that would alter THE PLAN, our immediate instinct is to hold on for dear life to that safety harness which is THE PLAN and ignore the calling God is bringing our way.

Yet, as my wonderful friend pointed out, how can we truly have faith in God if we are only willing to stick to THE PLAN? We build our faith through trust, and we can’t trust if we don’t let ourselves free fall into God every once in awhile. For although we might have THE PLAN, God has THEE PLANNED. He has a direction and a purpose for each of us, and sometimes, that direction and purpose is contrary to the one we’ve established for ourselves. “For I know the plans I have for you, ” the Lord tells Jeremiah as Jeremiah is balking in the face of leaving THE PLAN. “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah, 29:11.

Take Moses, for example. He thought he’d spend the rest of his days herding sheep in the desert. And so he did, but not in the way he’d ever imagined. It was a long fight, but look at the leader and witness he became! How about Jonah? “I’m not going to those people!” He held onto his safety harness and ended up in the gut of a whale! Can you say, stinky? Then there’s Ruth, who, according to THE PLAN, should have stayed in Moab and married someone else. Yet instead, she heeds God’s call on her heart and becomes the great-great(?) grandmother of King David. And let’s not forget our friends Peter, John and James. THE PLAN was for them to spend their lives hauling fish out of the sea, yet when Jesus said, “Come with me and I will make you fishers of men,” they didn’t hesitate. And look where they ended up–impulsive Peter became THE ROCK on which Jesus built the church!

In my life, I had a plan–THE PLAN, yet God intervened. I took a drastic leap of faith several years ago which altered, for the better, the course of my life. God provided in ways I never imagined and my faith grew and matured. That’s not to say that I don’t still get stuck in my safety harness. One plan easily replaces another, but God keeps recalculating THE PLAN. It’s so hard to let go of that safety harness, but it’s so beautiful when God catches you on the way down, and the free fall can be an exhilarating experience. More importantly, when we take off our safety harness, we allow God to teach us to trust because he catches us every time. And every time he catches us, our faith grows bit by bit.

So, where is God calling you to let go today? Is there a new ministry he’s calling you to? Is there a person who’s been placed on your heart? Is God calling you to a new job or career? Or could there be a relationship you need to take the first step to heal? Whatever it is, I pray that you would release the clasps on your safety harness and let God catch you. “Do not be afraid,” Jesus says. “Just believe.” Mark 5

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Yes, it’s true. I shared a moment with Jon Bon Jovi Monday night. It was less than a second, but it was a dream come true for me. I have been a Bon Jovi fan for over twenty years now. My first concert ever was Bon Jovi. My dad took me to see them when I was thirteen. I even have Bon jovi song lyrics engraved on the inside of my wedding band! Prior to this past Monday, I had seen Bon Jovi live three times, but never like this. For Christmas this year, my husband managed to get us tickets, not just any tickets, but 3rd row center!! It was truly amazing. Picture this: there was the stage, there was an enclosed section of seats, there was a rear stage, and there was us. It was the first concert I’ve ever been to where I didn’t have to look at the video screen to see what was going on onstage!

When Jon and the boys first took the stage, my eyes actually filled with tears. Here I was, totally not cool enough to be there, standing not even half a football field away from the man whose face once plastered my bedroom walls. And if that wasn’t good enough, the whole band came out and performed an entire set on the catwalk! Jon (I feel I can call him this now :-)) was so close that I could have thrown a football at him and hit him in the chest–seriously! (My husband disputes this being that I have no athletic ability whatsoever, but the point is, we were that close!) And then it happened, the crowning moment of the night. It was during an acoustic rendition of “Gimme Something for the Pain”. I was singing along, clapping, swaying to the beat (that’s about all this white girl can manage–truly uncool) looking awestruck up at Jon when suddenly, he turned his head and looked down at me, me, smiled and winked. All I can say is, dreams do come true.

My final Bon Jovi dream would be to have Jon and his wife over for dinner one night, or lunch, or coffee. I would love to have a conversation with them. I want to talk about faith and spirituality, about how you keep a marriage alive and parent while being a rock star, about song-writing and community service and heck, maybe even football. I told my husband to work on that for next Christmas:-) This might require some divine intervention. If, in some alternate universe, Jon likes perusing the blogs of pastor’s wives, know that you always have on open invitation for dinner at our house.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara